“I Can Guarantee Your Safety. More or Less.”
Back when Jurassic World: Dominion came out, they told us that it was going to be the end of the franchise. But life, or in this case a profitable franchise, finds a way. Now, just three years later, we get Jurassic World: Rebirth. While it has its fun moments, it is just average overall.
While it’s only been three years for us, it’s been five years in Jurassic World time. During that time, the dinosaurs that were unleased on our world have mostly died off. (I guess the writers like that particular storyline from Fallen Kingdom as much as I did.) The atmosphere had changed enough that they can only survive in a band around the equator. And that area is off limits to humans as a result, something rare that all governments agree on.
Our McGuffin of a plot involves a medical company needing blood from the three largest dinosaur species across water, land, and air to use in their research for a new heart medication. Really, it’s just an excuse to get a group of characters on an island with dinosaurs, right? Anyway, as far as characters go, we have Zora (Scarlett Johansson) as the mercenary hired to try to provide some security. Mahershala Ali is Duncan Kincaid, a friend of Zora’s whose boat they use to get to the island. Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) is the scientist along since he is an expert on dinosaurs. And Rupert Friend is the head of the pharmaceutical company funding all of this. Since this is Jurassic Park/World, we need some kids to be in danger as well. We get those in the form of a father, his two daughters, and the older daughter’s boyfriend (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Luna Blaise, Audrina Miranda, and David Iacono), who are swept up into the madness against their will.
You’ll notice that there is a lack of characters we already know. We get a reference to Dr. Grant, but that’s it. The producers decided to work with completely new characters here. So, in many ways, you could jump in here. Honestly, given the times they flashed on the screen at the beginning of the film, I’m not even sure how this truly fits in with the other movies. The five years post Dominion is the official log line, but it feels like it should have been longer to me.
If you’ve seen any of the films in the franchise, or most creature horror films in general, you pretty much know how this is going to go. And the film does little to surprise us. Yes, there were a couple of small ones along the way, but nothing earth shaking. (Well, except the large dinos).
That’s not to say it is bad. I got caught up in quite a few of the action sequences. And there are some good ones. There are also scenes that aren’t as developed as they could have been. There are a lot of characters to juggle, and the movie’s run time is just over two hours, so I’m sure some things were truncated. Honestly, I’m thankful because too many long chase scenes and this would have started to feel bloated. But there are a couple of standout scenes you’ll enjoy.
One thing that made is hard for me to care about the movie was the characters. They feel pretty generic. The attempts to give them some backstory fell flat, mostly because it was predictable. And the character arcs we got were just as shallow and predictable. If they tried to give us any arc to the characters at all.
The acting didn’t help. While the cast did okay with the action and the one liners, any time they had to show any depth, it felt forced. Not all of them were bad, but there were several that really struggled.
The special effects were also a mixed bag. Some of the scenes were jaw dropping gorgeous, and I bought everything I was being sold. Others? Pardon me, but your green screen is showing.
For good measure, we also get an anti-drug company message. Given the McGuffin of the plot, it wasn’t surprising. But the writing was so clunky that it was almost comical.
Speaking of laughs, we do get some get one liners and other purposefully funny moments to break the tension.
As has become the case with the franchise, we get some new monsters. Honestly, I wish we’d done without them. They didn’t add anything but some gruesome images. The velociraptors are reduced to a cameo. And the prologue? We could have lost that and not lost anything from the movie.
Jurassic World: Rebirth isn’t the worst the franchise has to offer. It’s also far from the best. It’s just kind of average. If you are anxious to see the film, you’ll be glad to see it in the theater. But if you decide to wait until it is available to watch at home, that’s a fine alternative as well.
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