Movie Review: Jaws 3

Stars: 2 out of 5

Pros: A few decent scenes

Cons: Too many bad one and laughable effects

The Bottom Line:

Shark in water park

A few sequences are good

But it’s mostly bad

“Let’s Go Swimming.”  “No, I Hate the Water.”

I knew fans point to the Jaws franchise as one where quality declines all the way through, but especially in the third and fourth films.  I’ve always been curious just how far things dropped.  Having now watched Jaws 3(D), I can say they fell pretty far with this one.

While none of the actors from the first two are back, we do get two of the characters.  We catch up with the Brody Brothers in Sea World in Florida.  Mike (Dennis Quaid) is working there building the various enclosures the park needs.  He’s also dating Dr. Kathryn Morgan (Bess Armstrong), who is in charge of the animals in the park.  Sean (John Putch) wants nothing to do with the water.  In fact, he’s visiting while on break from college in Colorado.

The park is connected to the ocean, although the animals and performers are usually in a lagoon that is fences off from the ocean proper.  However, unbeknownst to everyone, a great white has gotten into the lagoon.  How long will it be before anyone realizes what has happened?

I will give the movie this.  Yes, it took a little bit of time before the characters realize they are dealing with a shark, but they weren’t dumb for long.  Yes, so they make a few dumb choices once they know, but that’s a different discussion.  But I appreciated that they didn’t drag out this early part of the story.

I do think the idea of a shark in a water park has potential.  And, it was nice to get away from Amity.  That poor island needs a break.  It also allows them to not have to bring back any of the actors, who weren’t interested in returning.  But fans of the franchise will struggle since we have nothing familiar here.  This really is a sequel in name only.  The Brodys mention a few of the events from the first two movies, but it really could be anyone.

Anyway, as I was starting to say, I did like the water park setting.  I’m a bit surprised that Sea World allowed their name and location to be used in the film.  I wouldn’t think this would be the kind of publicity the park would want.  Even saying there is no such thing as bad publicity, I wouldn’t think they’d want to be associated with this film.

But back to my main point.  The setting had some creative touches that brought some new action sequences and set pieces to the movie.  I enjoyed them for what they were.  Usually, we could see them coming, but they were still entertaining.

I will also give the cast credit.  While it appears Dennis Quaid was high the entire time they were filming (he’s admitted as much), I found the performances fine.  A couple of real-life animal handlers and trainers were in the film, which is fun.  Among the cast I haven’t mentioned already are Louis Gossett Jr. and Lea Thompson.  This is actually Lea Thompson’s debut.

So far, it’s sounding like I mostly enjoyed the film.  Sorry to mislead you, but that’s not the truth at all.  The original Jaws is famous for not showing the shark early on.  That’s a wonderful story telling choice, as long as the director knows how to handle it well.  That’s not the case here.  We get a few good sequences, but most of the time, we don’t get the buildup and tension we need to actually be in suspense.

There’s a reason I put the D in quotes earlier.  Yes, this movie was originally released in 3D back in the 1980’s, so the technology was very different from what we have today.  I watched the movie on TV, and it was converted to 2D.  Yes, we could definitely see some of the 3D shots and what they would have been.

But here’s the problem.  Some of the regular shots just don’t look good because of the conversion.  We got cloudy and out of focus scenes as a result.  It’s distracting and takes away from the film.

And some of the effects?  Even by 80’s standards, they are pretty cheesy.  I’m thinking especially of the climax, which had me laughing.  Frankly, I have several questions about how realistic most of the climax was, in fact.  Yes, I’m nitpicking over a movie about a killer great white shark.  I realize that is just crazy, but it made me roll my eyes as I was watching.

Unless you are looking for a D monster movie, there’s no reason to see Jaws 3(D).  It adds nothing to the legacy of the franchise and the couple of entertaining sequences aren’t enough to justify sitting through it.

Movie Review: Tremors 5 - Bloodlines

Stars: 2 out of 5

Pros: A few cool moments

Cons: Familiar plot, characters we mostly don’t care about

The Bottom Line:

African danger

Graboids are back in action

Only for the fans

“Everything’s Bigger in Africa.”

After taking a trip back in time in the fourth installment, it was time to return to the present with Tremors 5: Bloodlines.  Actually, I’m sure most fans were surprised that this movie happened at all since it had been 11 years since the fourth installment.

When the film opens, we see Burt Gummer (Michael Gross) making a video to demonstrate his survival skills.  However, the video is interrupted by the arrival of Travis B. Welker (Jamie Kennedy) and a man from South Africa claiming that they have graboids there.  Burt is skeptical at first since he’s only ever heard of them in the western hemisphere.  But soon he is headed to Africa with Travis as his side kick.

When the pair arrive, they realize that, sure enough, they are dealing with graboids.  Unfortunately, some people are wanting to capture them alive.  Even worse, they have once again developed some new skills.  Can Burt figure out how to kill them?

Honestly, if you are a fan of the franchise, you pretty much know what to expect that this point.  And yes, that includes graboids with slightly different abilities to kill you.  After all, it would get boring of they all acted the same, right?  Honestly, the biggest change just made me roll my eyes.  Don’t get me wrong, it was cool to watch, but at this point, it’s like they are forgetting all the rules of the franchise.  On the other hand, there was a part of their behavior here that did make perfect sense to me.

My bigger issue with the movie is that we don’t really get to know any of the new characters that well.  Granted, some are just there to feed the graboids, but still, a little development would have been nice.  Even a trio who gets a lot of screen time doesn’t get that much real development.  The exception is Travis, but that makes sense because he spends the most time around Burt.  None of this is the actors’ faults.  It’s the fact that the script didn’t give them that much to do.

These movies have always been a bit raw in their humor, but this one seemed to push that envelop as well, which I didn’t appreciate.

The movie has upped the special effects game here, which was nice to see.  I’m sure the fact that it’s been eleven years since the previous movie helped with that.  Meanwhile, they also filmed this one is South Africa, which is the first time the franchise went super far for filming.

By the time a franchise has hit a fifth movie, it’s probably only the diehard fans who are excited anyway.  And they are the only ones I think will enjoy Tremors 5: Bloodlines.

Movie Review: Scream 7

Stars: 4 out of 5

Pros: Sidney, Gales, some laughs and twists

Cons: Many new characters flat, pacing at times

The Bottom Line:

Sidney and Ghostface

With Sid’s family at stake

This fan satisfied

“My Past Is Full of Dead People.”

While I say I’ve been a Scream fan since the beginning, I have to confess that I never saw the original in theaters.  And I still regret it.  But I’ve seen all the ones since in the theater.  So when they announced that Scream 7 was coming, I started the countdown.  And I made a point of going during the Thursday previews.  I maintain that there is no such thing as a bad Scream movie.  And this newest entry proved me right again.

Let’s get into it.  And don’t worry, there are no spoilers coming your way.

Before we go any further, I do want to mention the actresses not in the film.  Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega, two of the leads of the last two movies, are not back for this one.  Of course, Neve Campbell famously sat out the last installment.  I’m not going to get into drama surrounding that here.

I will say this.  I love Neve as Sidney.  I also want Sidney to have a happy ending.  So, if the franchise were to move on from her, I would miss her, but I would be okay with it.  However, the fact that she was back front and center in this one?  I couldn’t get to the theater fast enough.

When we meet up with Sidney Evans (Neve Campbell), she is happily married to police chief Mark Evans (Joel McHale).  They have three daughters, and the oldest is Tatum (Isabel May) who just happens to be seventeen.  Tatum and Sidney are struggling in their relationship since Sidney is reluctant to talk about her past even though a version of it is out there thanks to the Stab movies.

But that comes to a head when Sidney receives a phone call with a familiar voice on the other end.  Now, she has to worry about Tatum.  Is her daughter strong enough to survive another Ghostface attack?  Can Sidney survive again?

Sidney isn’t the only returning character we get in this movie.  Courteney Cox returns as Gale Weathers, and Jasmin Savoy Brown and Mason Gooding also return as the Meeks-Martin twins.  I enjoyed having all three of them in the movie.  Mindy and Chad were great here.  And Gale is always fun.  I felt like this movie was the real next step of the Gale we saw in Scream 5.  Her relationship with Sidney was definitely a continuation of what we saw there.  Their relationship sure has evolved over the course of the franchise.

Speaking of which, that is why I love these movies so much.  These characters feel like friends, and I love getting to see where they are and how their lives are going.  Of course, I hate that it means they have to endure more pain and loss for me to do that.  But it’s a price I’m willing to pay.  (It helps that I’m not the one having to deal with the pain, right?)

Anyway, I really like what we saw in the way of character growth here.  Where we started felt natural for the characters and the franchise.  And where we ended felt earned as well.  There are so many great moments for the returning characters.

Much of that is thanks for original Scream creator Kevin Williamson having a much bigger role behind the scenes.  He’s credited as a co-writer and he directed.  Couple that with Neve and Courtney as executive producers.  The people behind the scenes were passionate about the movie, and it shows.

However, the time spent on Sidney and the Evans family does take time away from the new characters.  We don’t really get to know them before Ghostface attacks.  And there are times the movie seems rushed to get to the next set piece.  I’ve felt that way about past entries, however, and on rewatches, I’ve felt more comfortable with the pace and the characters.  I’m sure that will happen here.

This is an R rated movie, and the violence has been bumped up a notch.  I felt a couple of the kills were needlessly cartoony.  And a couple had me questioning how realistic they were.  And this is someone who goes along with the garage door kill in the first one no problem.

The returning actors are all in top form.  You can tell they are having fun playing characters they love.  And the new cast is great.  Isabel May has a lot to carry here, and she is outstanding.  And I want the romantic comedy of how Sidney and Mark met.  (With no Ghostface attacks, please.)  Neve and Joel were perfect together.  You felt like they were a happily married couple who had built a life together.  The rest of the cast brought their characters to life well given the scripts they had to work with.

There are some fantastic suspense scenes that had me on the edge of my seat.  I also enjoyed some of the twists in the story.  A couple of moments made me want to cheer.  And I liked the motive of Ghostface.

There were also some moments that absolutely made me laugh.  While the meta commentary wasn’t as sharp as in some installments, there were some fantastic meta moments that I truly enjoyed.

I’m going to have to sit with this one for a while to decide where it sits in my rankings.  Since I’ve been out of the theater for about an hour, it’s hard to have let the entire thing sink in.  But I enjoyed Scream 7.  I’m looking forward to seeing it again.

Movie Review: Sharknado

Stars: 1 out of 5

Pros: It’s only an hour and twenty-seven minutes.

Cons: It’s a full hour and twenty-seven minutes you will immediately want back

The Bottom Line:

A crazy premise

Bad writing, plot, and effects

Avoid at all costs

“We’re Going to Need a Bigger Chopper.”

I remember when the Sharknado franchise became huge, and I remember thinking they sounded horrible.  I did watch another Syfy original movie about that time, and it proved to be as bad as I expected.  But when a friend wanted to watch this one, I gave in.  It was a mistake.

The film takes place around Los Angeles as a hurricane is coming up from the coast of Mexico.  It’s an unusual event here, but it’s also driving the sharks into the beach.  However, as the storm begins to really hit the shores, flooding ensues, meaning that the sharks start appearing everyone.  And that’s before the waterspouts start coming into land.

You want to know about characters?  The film follows Fin Shepherd (Ian Ziering), who owns a bar on the Santa Monica pier who is trying to rescue his estranged wife, April (Tara Reid) and daughter and son with the help of a few friends and employees.

However, the characters are pretty irrelevant.  Even the story is irrelevant.  There is little attempt to have logic interfere with the visuals of the film in any way.  Part of that is because so many stock shots were spliced into the film.  Honestly, cars would be shown in one location in one shot, in another in the next, then be back to the first in the third shot.  The quality of the images kept changing.  Not to mention that some of the shots were so poorly done it was completely impossible to follow the action.

Not that the story needs much of that.  You’ve got people running and driving and screaming and dying.  The plot is really just an attempt to bridge together what are supposed to be cool action sequences.  But those action scenes were just cringe inducing instead.

Speaking of cringing, there’s the special effects.  When it is done well, CGI is wonderful.  This is not an example of CGI done well.  In fact, it is remarkably bad.  Even many of the storm effects are bad CGI.  And don’t get me started on the shots of the characters in cars driving.

It might have helped if the characters had any development.  I’d call these characters paper thin, but that would be an insult to paper.  Most of the actors do the best they can (there are a couple who are pretty bad), but they are giving nothing to work with.

I spent the entire movie cringing, but the two friends I watched it with were laughing at how bad it was.  Not that they were enjoying it.  None of us did.  But they at least laughed at the awfulness.

I don’t get why this movie ever was released, or made, much less why it spawned sequels.  Sharknado is a movie to avoid at all costs.  We all want our hour and a half back.

Movie Review: Jaws 2

Stars: 3 out of 5

Pros: Third act; a few creative choices

Cons: For a movie called Jaws 2, the characters are oblivious for far too long

The Bottom Line:

Shark is same waters

Characters should know sooner

But third act is great

Maybe It Helped That My Expectations Were Low

Despite the fact that I didn’t find the original Jaws to be the masterpiece that most consider it, I was still curious about the sequels.  Yeah, I know, nobody likes them.  But I still decided to give Jaws 2 a chance.  Turns out, I thought it was about as good as the first, which is faint praise.

This movie sees the return of Roy Scheider as Brody, Lorraine Gary as his wife, Ellen, and Murray Hamilton as Mayor Vaughn.  That’s right, we are back in Amity.  It’s been several years since the first movie (and three since the first movie was released).  Ellen is now working of a developer who is building condos on the island.  They are bringing in new prospective owners as things really ramp up.

Which is why the timing of another giant shark in the waters off the coast is horrid.  Of course, no one is ready to believe that this is what is happening despite missing divers and water skiers.  Is Brody being paranoid?  Or is there really another shark in the waters?

I’ve got to say, the movie falls into a trap the first movie avoided a bit.  Here, it isn’t obvious to any of the characters for far too long that there is indeed another shark in the water.  Instead, we get Brody suspecting what is going on, but without proof.  And without proof, the mayor and the others aren’t willing to cause a panic.  Honestly, I get it.  You can’t ruin businesses, aka people’s lives, without proof.  Of course, there is tension since, if you are wrong, people are going to die.

But here’s why it doesn’t work for this movie.  It is called Jaws 2.  We know going into the movie exactly what is going on here.  So waiting for the characters to catch up gets boring.  Yes, we have some nice sequences of near misses and actual attacks.  I enjoyed that, but it still made for a movie that dragged.

Brody’s two kids were recast for this film.  Mark Gruner, who players older son Mike, is significantly older than I felt like the character was in the first film, while Marc Gilpin feels about right for younger son, Sean.  Anyway, with Mike being a teen, we get quite a few teens here.  Honestly, they felt a bit like the casts of a slasher film, which were still in their infancy.  But these characters love sailing, which naturally puts them in danger.  I will say, the movie doesn’t give us enough time to really get to know all of them, or really any of them beyond Mike and Sean.  Then again, we don’t often get to know the characters in other horror movies super well.

But the sailing provides a nice way to put characters in danger in a fresh way.  While it is set up early on, this becomes the focus of the final act.  And here’s where the movie truly comes alive.  The final act is one tense moment after another with several great sequences.  Realistic?  Probably not.  But they are still very entertaining.  And that includes the climax, which I don’t think would have worked out as well for the humans as it does here.  But it’s possible I missed something.

I will give the cast this – they bring their characters to life the best they can with the script they have.  They aren’t the issue.  And I still felt the connection of the Brody family, especially Brody and Ellen.

The effects also hold up.  Yes, there are a couple of moments where it is obvious we aren’t seeing a real shark, but the shark is used sparingly again, so the little we seem him, we are ready to buy it.

Keep in mind that this movie came out in 1978.  I have a feeling it might be rated PG-13 if it were released today thanks to a few harsher swear words and the violence.  Although I don’t think the violence was as bad as the first movie overall.

As I said in the opener, I feel like this movie is about the same as the first.  I found the first to be just okay, and that’s ultimately how I feel about this one.  Even though act three is an adrenalin ride.

If you enjoy the original, you might want to check out Jaws 2.  While it has its flaws, it is a worthy sequel.

Movie Review: Sick

Stars: 4 out of 5

Pros: Creative and timely slasher

Cons: A couple of things that aren’t right for the setting

The Bottom Line:

Pandemic slasher

With creative sequences

Genre fans will like

“This Isn’t a Vacation; It’s a Quarantine.”  “A Quarantine in Style.”

Being the Scream fan I am, I was immediately interested when I heard about Sick, a slasher from writer Kevin Williamson that takes place during the early days of the pandemic.  Since it was a Peacock exclusive movie (at least originally), I couldn’t watch it until I got a good deal on the streamer, but I’m glad I finally got to watch it since I enjoyed it.

It’s April 2020, and the stay-at-home orders have just been in effect for a couple of weeks.  College student Parker Mason (Gideon Adlon) has decided on the best place to quarantine, her family’s lakeside cabin.  There are no neighbors, and the family hardly ever uses it.  She goes with her best friend, Miri Woodlow (Beth Million).

Really, cabin hardly describes this place.  It’s a nice, multiple bedroom place, and the two should be able to stay safe until the pandemic dies down.

Or so they think.

They’ve been there only a few hours when they realize they aren’t alone and they are in danger.  Suddenly, being alone in the middle of nowhere doesn’t seem like such a good idea.  Can they survive long enough to find help

As I said earlier, this is a slasher.  It’s an R rated movie filled with violence and foul language.  If that kind of thing isn’t for you, then don’t let anything else I say make you curious.

However, if you enjoy the genre, you’ll enjoy this timely take on it.  I keep saying I’m not ready for much set during the pandemic, but then I find things like this that change my mind.  I might not want a steady diet of it, but this did capture the feeling of those early days fairly well.

Of course, that was also the downfall.  If this is set in April, there are a few things that weren’t quite right.  It’s not that long ago, we can remember.  In fact, a big one comes into play in the climax.

As with Scream, which Kevin Williamson also wrote, the movie features a human villain with a motive.  I appreciate how it was set up over the course of the film.  When we find out what is going on, all those pieces make sense.  I did feel like the killer overreacted in their motive, but if they didn’t, we would not have had this movie, so I’ll let it slide.

Like many of the classics of the genre, we get a few hints of foreboding, but not much happens until the second half.  Once it does, hold on.  It’s basically one long chase from that point forward with some fantastic suspense scenes.  Even if you know what is coming, you still appreciate how they build up to it.  Or at least I did.  Given the setting, there isn’t a huge body count, but that hardly matters with the suspense and twists we get.

There are a few funny lines and scenes, but most of them were in the trailer.  Don’t let that stop you because this really is a fantastic slasher.

If you are a fan of slashers, you’ll appreciate the timeliness of Sick.  It may not be a classic of the genre, but it will be a hidden gem.

Movie Review: I Know What You Did Last Summer (2025)

Stars: 2 out of 5

Pros: Good acting, some nice moments for fans

Cons: Pretty much everything else

The Bottom Line:

Similar premise

Without good execution

Fans should skip requel

“Nostalgia is Overrated.”

While Scream will always be my first love in the horror/slasher genre, I did enjoy the original I Know What You Did Last Summer.  The sequel?  Not as much.  And the less said about the straight to video third film, the better.  So when a new movie was announced, I started paying attention, especially when both original stars Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr. signed on.  I couldn’t wait to see it, so I went to a Thursday opening film.  I’ve got to say, I am disappointed by it.

We are once again returning to Southport where we meet five friends.  Danica and Teddy (Madelyn Cline and Tyriq Withers) are having an engagement party, which means their high school best friends Ava and Milo (Chase Sui Wonders and Jonah Hauer-King) are back in town. Oh, and Ava and Milo were high school sweethearts as well, who have gone their separate ways. As the party winds down, the four friends decide to go out to their spot to watch the 4^th of July fireworks, at the last minute inviting the fifth member of their high school group of friends, Stevie (Sarah Pidgeon).

This being Southport on the 4^th, the five friends wind up being involved in a fatal accident while out on the winding roads.  And they decide to cover it up.  (Really, people just shouldn’t drive in the area on the 4^th.)

A year later, everyone returns to Southport for Danica’s bridal shower.  But one of her presents is just a card with a note inside.  Yep, it says “I know what you did last summer.”  So, who knows their secret?

Yes, Jennifer’s Julie James and Freddie’s Ray Bronson are part of this movie, in more of a supporting role.  This really is focused on the group of five friends and the killer dressed up as the fisherman who is stalking them.  I’m okay with that.  Yes, I’m here for the nostalgia, but I don’t need it to be front and center.  It’s fine to focus on a new group of characters and watch them try to figure out how to survive this.

And the movie tries to play into the mystery of who is could be.  But if you go back and watch the original, it is such a well-done mystery with some good misdirects and well-placed clues.  Kevin Williamson, who wrote the original, is a master at layering a who done it into a slasher.  Here, the mystery isn’t as well done, overshadowed by the action.

My biggest complaint with the original sequel is that the killer goes after everyone but the people he wants to kill.  I get it in the original he’s taunting them, but in the sequel?  Really?  The only reason he behaves like he does is because of the need to have a higher body count.  But that’s a different review.  I bring it up only because here, the killer actually does have a good motive for the order the bodies drop, which I appreciated.

Of course, the original has that iconic chase scene.  This one is missing the good chase scenes.  We get some build up to some of the deaths, but they are usually over all too quickly.  There’s really only one decent chase scene, and it’s a rip off with a new elements that worked well.

Then there’s the third act.  Let’s just say, I didn’t appreciate it.  Especially since I didn’t feel the motives were successfully established to make me buy into what happened.  Maybe with better writing I’d feel differently about it.

The original has a low body count, and the Fisherman toys with the kids before he starts in on them.  While it does take a lot longer for the build up to the kills, it really helped us get to know the characters, so we can find ourselves rooting for them because they don’t deserve what is happened to them despite what they did.  This movie is so focused on the action, that it misses that key character development.  As a result, I actually found myself rooting for the killer more than I should.

Not that what happens here is on the same level as the accident in the original.  They still should have gone to the police, but it doesn't deserve what is happening to them here.

I’m not blaming the actors for this.  The entire cast is very good at bringing their characters to life, including the franchise veterans.

Keep in mind, this is a hard R rating, mainly for the language and violence.  But, if you are familiar with the franchise, that’s no surprise.  I did feel the kills are more brutal.

There are some very nice moments for fans of the first two films.  Like me, we are pretending that third film never happened.  I never watched the TV series, but I’m assuming that is sitting outside the continuity of these films as well.  Anyway, some of the nods to the earlier films are brief mentions that I appreciated.  Others felt overdone, mainly because they went on too long.

Another thing that bothered me was the age of the characters.  They are all supposed to be in their late twenties, almost ten years older than the main characters in the original.  The set up works for me with just graduated from high school teens.  It really doesn’t work for me with characters who are supposed to be in their twenties.  Especially since they are still acting like teenagers too much of the time.

The original had a great 4^th of July small town feel to it.  That was also missing here.

And we can’t leave out the modern messages of the film, which also hurt it for me.  To say more is to spoil things.  Of course, I might have felt differently if those themes and messages had been better developed.

Frankly, that felt like much of the issue with the film.  There was just too much going on, so things were rushed.  The opening accident.  The time to the note.  The first kill.  And it never really settled into a groove at all.  For being the longest film in the franchise to date, it seems like they could have found some time to slow things down and develop a character or to.  Or maybe truly explore a theme instead of just touching on something before moving on to the next bit.  Even in a slasher, we need time to breath.

The film is clearly hoping for a sequel, even setting it up in the final moments of this film.  I’m not sure I will be back.  If I do come back, I doubt it will be in the theater.  Anyway, if you do see this movie, you’ll want to stick around until at least part way through the credits.

I reserve the right to change my mind as I’ve had more time to sit with this new I Know What You Did Last Summer.  But my immediate gut reaction to this movie is that it should have been given the hook.  What happened last summer should have been forgotten. 

Movie Review: Jurassic World - Rebirth

Stars: 3 out of 5

Pros: Action sequences, some effects

Cons: Characters and acting are okay at best, predictable

The Bottom Line:

Hunting dino blood

Excuse for more monster thrills

Film’s okay at best

“I Can Guarantee Your Safety.  More or Less.”

Back when Jurassic World: Dominion came out, they told us that it was going to be the end of the franchise.  But life, or in this case a profitable franchise, finds a way.  Now, just three years later, we get Jurassic World: Rebirth.  While it has its fun moments, it is just average overall.

While it’s only been three years for us, it’s been five years in Jurassic World time.  During that time, the dinosaurs that were unleased on our world have mostly died off.  (I guess the writers like that particular storyline from Fallen Kingdom as much as I did.)  The atmosphere had changed enough that they can only survive in a band around the equator.  And that area is off limits to humans as a result, something rare that all governments agree on.

Our McGuffin of a plot involves a medical company needing blood from the three largest dinosaur species across water, land, and air to use in their research for a new heart medication.  Really, it’s just an excuse to get a group of characters on an island with dinosaurs, right?  Anyway, as far as characters go, we have Zora (Scarlett Johansson) as the mercenary hired to try to provide some security.  Mahershala Ali is Duncan Kincaid, a friend of Zora’s whose boat they use to get to the island.  Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) is the scientist along since he is an expert on dinosaurs.  And Rupert Friend is the head of the pharmaceutical company funding all of this.  Since this is Jurassic Park/World, we need some kids to be in danger as well.  We get those in the form of a father, his two daughters, and the older daughter’s boyfriend (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Luna Blaise, Audrina Miranda, and David Iacono), who are swept up into the madness against their will.

You’ll notice that there is a lack of characters we already know.  We get a reference to Dr. Grant, but that’s it.  The producers decided to work with completely new characters here.  So, in many ways, you could jump in here.  Honestly, given the times they flashed on the screen at the beginning of the film, I’m not even sure how this truly fits in with the other movies.  The five years post Dominion is the official log line, but it feels like it should have been longer to me.

If you’ve seen any of the films in the franchise, or most creature horror films in general, you pretty much know how this is going to go.  And the film does little to surprise us.  Yes, there were a couple of small ones along the way, but nothing earth shaking.  (Well, except the large dinos).

That’s not to say it is bad.  I got caught up in quite a few of the action sequences.  And there are some good ones.  There are also scenes that aren’t as developed as they could have been.  There are a lot of characters to juggle, and the movie’s run time is just over two hours, so I’m sure some things were truncated.  Honestly, I’m thankful because too many long chase scenes and this would have started to feel bloated.  But there are a couple of standout scenes you’ll enjoy.

One thing that made is hard for me to care about the movie was the characters.  They feel pretty generic.  The attempts to give them some backstory fell flat, mostly because it was predictable.  And the character arcs we got were just as shallow and predictable.  If they tried to give us any arc to the characters at all.

The acting didn’t help.  While the cast did okay with the action and the one liners, any time they had to show any depth, it felt forced.  Not all of them were bad, but there were several that really struggled.

The special effects were also a mixed bag.  Some of the scenes were jaw dropping gorgeous, and I bought everything I was being sold.  Others?  Pardon me, but your green screen is showing.

For good measure, we also get an anti-drug company message.  Given the McGuffin of the plot, it wasn’t surprising.  Those moments, brief as they are, were a real turn off to me, ruining much of my enjoyment of the earlier parts.  But the writing was so clunky that it was almost comical.

Speaking of laughs, we do get some great one liners and other purposefully funny moments to break the tension.

As has become the case with the franchise, we get some new monsters.  Honestly, I wish we’d done without them.  They didn’t add anything but some gruesome images.  The velociraptors are reduced to a cameo.  And the prologue?  We could have lost that and not lost anything from the movie.

Jurassic World: Rebirth isn’t the worst the franchise has to offer.  It’s also far from the best.  If you are anxious to see the film, you’ll be glad to see it in the theater.  But if you decide to wait until it is available to watch at home, that’s a fine alternative as well.

Movie Review: Jaws

Stars: 3 out of 5

Pros: Acting, most of the effects, some scenes build tension well

Cons: Overall, tension and pacing are uneven

The Bottom Line:

A very big shark

In famous monster movie

Uneven tension

“If You’re Looking for a Shark, You’re Not Going to Find Him on the Land.”

I remember hearing about Jaws from a young age.  It’s a movie that people talk about all the time for its place in cinema history.  I remember getting a chance to watch it on TV not too long after I got out of college and being excited to finally watch it only to be disappointed.  But with all the talk about the movie’s 50th Anniversary, I decided to give it another chance.  I still wasn’t super impressed.

For those who don’t know, the movie takes us to the island of Amity.  The local community thrives on summer tourists, so the upcoming 4th of July weekend is very important.  When the new sherif, Brody (Roy Scheider), thinks there’s a man-eating shark in the waters around the island, the news isn’t welcome.  The mayor (Murray Hamilton) is insisting that everything is going to keep going as normal.  The only way that Brody appears able to end things is to go out in a boat with shark hunter Quint (Robert Shaw) and a scientist who studies sharks, Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss).  Will they be able to kill the shark?

This is Stephen Spielberg’s second movie as director.  Rather crazy to think about, isn’t it?  Even though I don’t find this one of his best films, it is easy to see why he became the beloved and celebrated director he is today.

I think most of my issues with the film are due to its age.  Movies from 50 years ago are just different than they are now.  For better or worse.  In this case, some of the scenes that people praise, the scenes that give us character development, are some of the scenes that bother me.  They slow down the pacing.  Not to mention that when we get on the boat for the second half, that still feels too long.  I think there’s also the issue that, for a movie about a menacing shark, we spend so much time on land in the first half where you know everyone is safe.

Much has been made over the years about Bruce, the mechanical shark, and all the issues they had with it during production, changing how some of the scenes were shot, especially the opening.  I realize I’m in the minority here as well, but I think a few more shots of the shark would have helped.

That is one aspect that definitely has aged well.  Yes, a few times we can tell he’s a special effect, but most of the time, I buy him as a real shark when I see him.

Yes, the movie did give me one jump scare (even though I knew it was coming), and the adrenalin does get going a few times, especially at the climax, but it’s not a consistent build up.

As much as the pacing feels off to me, the acting is good.  The actors bring their characters to life wonderfully, and the three leads have such great chemistry, which is important since they have to carry the second half of the film.

This is one of those cases where the movie isn’t bad.  It’s just not good either.

But here’s the crazy thing.  Most people agree the sequels aren’t good at all.  But I’m curious about them, so I’ll probably wind up watching them even though I wasn’t impressed with this movie.

Do remember that there was no PG-13 rating when this movie came out.  I feel like it should be rated that.  While most of the violence is implied, we do get a few shots of the aftermath of the shark attacks.  And the tension does build in certain scenes.

I’m glad I gave Jaws a second chance.  I might not be a fan, but it is nice to have that confirmed.  If you haven’t seen it yet and are curious, I definitely recommend you give it a shot since most people seem to enjoy it.

Movie Review: Tremors 4 - The Legend Begins

Stars: 3 out of 5 (for fans)

Pros: Second half, jokes for fans

Cons: Very low budget effects, only for fans

The Bottom Line:

First creature attack

Movie overcomes first half

Still only for fans

“Do You Want Me to Strangle Him?”

It had been a while since I’d seen a Tremors movie.  And even longer since I recorded the fourth one from TV.  Obviously, I’m not a diehard fan of the franchise, but I was curious enough about the movie to finally sit down and watch Tremors 4: The Legend Begins.

This movie takes us back to 1889, 100 years before the events of the first film.  The town of Rejection, Nevada survives because of the nearby silver mine.  However, when something starts attacking and killing the miners, people start to move away.

And so, the mine’s owner, Hiram Gummer (Michael Gross) shows up to find out why no one is working his mine any more.  It isn’t long before he sees the problem himself.  Will his plan to hire a gun slinger help defeat the creatures?

I’ll admit, I wasn’t that excited about the idea of a prequel.  Maybe that’s one reason why I put the movie off for so long.  And yes, I did find parts of it slow as the characters had to relearn everything we already knew.  A bigger question for me is why we would want to go back in time.  Other than to keep the setting of Perfection since the location is as tied into the franchise as the creatures themselves.

Speaking of whom, we see a younger version of the life cycle that’s new here, but most of the time, we are dealing with the classic creature.  Which made me very happy.  All the life cycles were getting a bit ridiculous.  The characters also don’t call them graboids.  I kind of like the name they are given – dirt dragons.

Those familiar with the franchise will immediately pick up on Hiram being the ancestor of Burt Gummer, played in the rest of the movies in the franchise by … Michael Gross.  I really enjoyed the humor from his character.  He was annoying at time, and he was supposed to be.  But his character arc was great.  Predictable, but great.

Not so great were the effects.  I mean, the effects have always been in keeping with the status as a B movie.  But here they seem to be even worse than normal.  They were a definite flaw as far as I was concerned.

But the third act?  Not only did it feature some smart characters, but it was very satisfying.  Honestly, the movie got better as it went along, and by the second half I was quite enjoying it.

That included great performances by the cast.  Everyone took their parts seriously and made us care for their characters.

And they even fixed a potential plot hole I saw for the series, which I appreciated.

I don’t recommend Tremors 4 if you aren’t a fan of the franchise.  But if you have enjoyed the first three movies, you’ll find something here to make it worth your while.

Movie Review: Halloween H20

Stars: 5 out of 5

Pros: Suspense, thrills, Michael, and Laurie

Cons: The mask looks funny, some might find the first part slow

The Bottom Line:

Twenty years later

Great to see Michael, Laurie

A worthy sequel

“It’s Halloween.  Everyone’s Entitled to One Good Scare.”  “I’ve Had My Share.”

Legacy sequels are all the rage these days, bringing back original cast members but featuring new characters.  The Halloween franchise was ahead of the curve since it did that decades ago with Halloween: H2O.  This sequel to 1978’s Halloween was released in 1998 and marked Jamie Lee Curtis’s first appearance in the franchise since Halloween II.  And it’s my second favorite film in the franchise, behind only the original.

This movie takes place completely outside of Haddonfield, the site of the original massacre.  It also ignores the events of Halloweens 4-6.  We open with Marion (Nancy Stephens), Dr. Loomis’s nurse in the first two movies.   She comes home a couple of days before Halloween only to find that someone has broken into her house.  Unfortunately for her, the intruder was Michael Meyers.  Even worse, he’s taken the contents of a folder on Laurie Strode.

From there, the action moves to a posh, private academy in Northern California where Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) has a job as the head mistress.  Her son John (Josh Hartnett) is one of the teens attending.  As the holiday approaches, Laurie gets more and more agitated with memories of the attacks from twenty years ago.  Unbeknownst to her, Michael is driving across the country to finish what he started.  What will happen when he arrives?

This movie does borrow heavily from the original.  Michael only attacks after dark, for example.  That means we get lots of stalking in the first half before the horror really picks up in the second half.  It can make the first half drag a little, but Michael pops up enough that you can feel the tension building.

Plus, this part allows us to get to know the characters.  While the teens are fairly stock characters, we really see what has happened to Laurie as a result of her past.  I like that character development and how it is explored, so I don’t mind at all.  It makes the final part of the movie that much better for me.  Kevin Williamson of Scream fame wrote an uncredited draft of the script, and I feel like the character development is his.  As is the opening sequence.

And this isn’t to discount any of the acting.  This is Josh Hartnett’s first role, and it is easy to see why he was cast.  He shines opposite Jamie Lee Curtis.  And Jamie is fantastic stepping back into the role that made her famous.  Among the others in the cast we have Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michelle Williams, Adam Hann-Byrd, Jodi Lyn O'Keefe, LL Cool J, and Adam Arkin.  Like many horror movies of the day, you can see some big names here just starting their career, and a few big names from that period.  Sadly, Donald Pleasence had passed away so he wasn’t back as Dr. Loomis, marking his first absence from the franchise.

I have to give a special shout out to Janet Leigh, Jamie Lee Curtis’s mother famous for her role in Psycho.  There are several jokes in the script based solely on her character.

I can hear you now, “this is all well and good, but how is the horror?”  While it doesn’t have the highest body count, by the time we get to act three when Michael shows up in full force, things get tense.  There are plenty of jump scares throughout, and Laurie’s confrontation with Michael is outstanding.

And, let’s be honest, we watch these movies to see Laurie and Michael square off.  If that’s the case, you’ll be very happy with this movie.  And I love the ending of this movie.  (Personally, I’m going to pretend that Resurrection never happened and stick with the original ending of this movie.)

On the other hand, I do have to ask what is up with that mask.  It looks a little silly in some of the scenes, especially when we see his eyes.  I’d say the original was scarier.

Keep in mind that this is an R rated film, with plenty of violence and language.  It is free of nudity, which is surprising for a slasher.

If you like the original Halloween, you’ll be glad you gave Halloween H2O a chance.  In an uneven franchise, it is a worthy sequel.

Movie Review: A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Stars: 4 out of 5

Pros: Scary, makes good use of premise

Cons: Very 80’s movie

The Bottom Line:

Teens stalked while they sleep

Classic 80’s slasher film

Dated but scary

“Did You Have Any Weird Dreams Last Night?”

If you are looking for the trifecta of 70’s and 80’s slasher franchises, you have to look at Halloween, Friday the 13^th, and A Nightmare on Elm Street.  Over the years, I’ve caught all the movies in all three franchises on TV, not that I intend to review them all.  But I figured I should review at least the first movie featuring Freddy Kruger.

Nancy (Heather Langenkamp) and her friends are having strange dreams.  They involve a disfigured man and a boiler.  Plus, the man seems to have something sharp on his hands.  However, these dreams seem to be manifesting in reality, leaving the teens injured.  Or dead.  Will any of them sleep well again?  Or will Freddy Kruger (Robert Englund) come for them in their dreams?

I must admit, I have a mixed reaction to this movie, probably brought on by the fact that I didn’t watch it until I was an adult, long after the 80’s were over.  This movie was originally released in 1984, and it shows.  If nothing else, the electric soundtrack is a dead giveaway.  Some of the effects are also dated, and the low budget for the movie shows.  I’ve also got to point out that some of the acting is dated as well.  Yes, even something from the 1980’s can be dated acting wise.  If you watched this movie without knowing the release date, you could guess within a couple of years just by watching it.

Yet, the movie is still creepy 40 years later.  We all know the horror of a nightmare, so it is easy to identify with the teens who are being stalked by a killer in their dreams.  The movie also does a wonderful job playing into our typical nightmares for some of the sequences.  I’m not going to spoil any of them, but you watch the dreams and think “This really could happen in a dream.”  Granted, dreams are weird enough that the statement gives the creative team behind the movie lots of leeway, but it is still extremely creepy.

Robert Englund made a name for himself playing Freddy here.  Yes, the character would evolve as the franchise went on, but he’s appropriately scary here.  I also have to point out that this movie is the debut of Johnny Depp, who has a large part as Nancy’s boyfriend.

Then there’s the ambiguous ending.  I get it.  Especially back then, they wanted to set up a franchise.  But I hate that it completely erases the power of the climax.  And yes, I do love the climax.

Keep in mind that this is an R rated horror movie with plenty of sex, language, and especially violence.  Yes, even when this is on TV.  Know that if you choose to watch it.

A Nightmare on Elm Street is still appropriately creepy even if it is very dated.  You might want to watch this one during the day.

Movie Review: Ready or Not (2019)

Stars: 2 out of 5

Pros: The acting is wonderful

Cons: Tries to do too much, and as a result fails

The Bottom Line:

Wedding night nightmare

Has too many ideas

Executions fails

“You Pulled the One Bad Card”

When Ready or Not came out, I remember hearing lots of good things about it.  And I thought that it might be something fun to watch at some point, especially with how much I enjoyed last year’s Scream requel (or is that legacy sequel?).  So when I caught it in TV, I decided to give it a chance.  I was pretty disappointed by it.

It should be the happiest day of her life for Grace (Samantha Weaving), who is marrying into the Le Domas family.  While they are extremely wealthy, she is marrying Alex (Mark O’Brien) because she truly loves him and is excited about starting a family together.

There’s just one catch, a trifle really.  After the wedding, each new member of the family has to play a game.  They pick a card to determine what the game is, and Grace picks the Hide and Seek card.  The one bad card.  Picking that card means the family will be hunting her until dawn, and if they find her, they will kill her.  Can Grace survive the night?

Honestly, one of the problems with the movie is that it takes us too long to get there.  I knew that much of the plot before I sat down to watch it, and we are quite a ways into the movie before Grace finds that out.  Yes, the movie is building the tension, and doing a good job of it.  There are also some fun laughs as Grace says or does things that she doesn’t realize mean something different to the family.

Once everyone is on the same page, there are some good moments.  This is a horror comedy, and it has great moments of both.  There are several tense scenes, and a few scenes that are wonderfully funny.

However, it just doesn’t all come together.  We are supposed to get some social commentary on the 1% from the movie, but I feel like those comments were cliched, especially since some of the characters were cliches themselves.

Speaking of which, I had a real hard time remembering who all the characters were and their places in the family.

There are some other plot threads introduced in the movie that don’t seem to go anywhere.  I found that frustrating.  They are referenced a couple of times and then dropped.  The same goes for some of the other social commentary they were trying to include.  I see what they thought they were doing, but it honestly didn’t translate.

Since I was watching this on TV, the violence and language were toned down from the film’s R rating.  I was impressed with some of the substitutes we got for swear words.  I laughed at some of them, and I mean that in a good way, not laughing at poor editing.

And none of this is a reflection on the cast, who are all fine.

Then came the climax.  I get what they were going for.  I’m trying to decide if my reaction to it was the lack of set up or just my different expectations.

Since I was curious about it, I’m glad I watched Ready or Not.  I’m even more glad I watched it on TV so I didn’t waste anything other than my time.

Movie Review: Tremors 3 - Back to Perfection

Stars: 2 out of 5

Pros: Low budget B monster movie

Cons: Low budget B monster movie

The Bottom Line:

Graboids return home

Low budget monster movie

Still, a bit of fun

“This Time, We’re Ready for You.”

My friends and I are continuing on with the Tremors franchise.  The quality has definitely gone down with the third in the series.  Yet, Tremors 3: Return to Perfection still has some elements I enjoyed.

It’s been eleven years since the first attack on Perfection, Nevada, took place, and in that time, the town has recovered.  Well, as much as a small town in the middle of nowhere ever will.  The survivors of the original attack are mostly still there, and Jack Sawyer (Shawn Christian) has come to town to run a tourist attraction showing everyone where the original Graboid attack took place.

Burt Gummer (Michael Gross) is out traveling the world killing Graboids as they appear.  But he’s returned home for a visit, and just in time as a new batch of Graboids have appeared.  When the government steps in, will it spell disaster for the town?

In the first two movies, Burt was the comic relief, so the fact that he is now the main character creates a bit of a problem.  He’s a bit more serious here, and I appreciate that they toned him down since the original Burt would have been annoyingly over the top as the lead.  On the other hand, he always had the best scenes and lines in the first two, and I miss that here.

If you’ve been following the franchise, you would expect to get a third evolution in the life cycle of the Graboid, and you’d be correct.  After all, we’ve got to have something new to fight against.  I won’t tell you what it is, but it didn’t surprise me too much.

Even with that twist, the movie follows pretty predictable lines.  If you are a fan of the first two, you’ll enjoy seeing familiar characters facing the same issues again.  Don’t get me wrong, the writers try to make things new, but it feels familiar.

By this point, the suspense factor has dropped significantly.  You know when an attack is going to happen, and there is little buildup to it.  It happens.  Honestly, I was surprised at how many of them happened off screen.  That’s definitely a factor of the low budget.

Also a casualty of the low budget is the special effects.  They tried to use some CGI here, but it is painfully obvious when they do.  Not that the first two films had the best special effects, but you notice them here more, and not in a good way.

While they’ve toned down Burt, there is still some humor in the film.  I think that’s what I enjoyed the most.

And I really liked the characters this time around.  I was impressed with how many cast members from the original they brought back.  Granted, most of them don’t have strong careers going, so I’m sure they were happy to return.  Not that this is a knock on the acting, which is all fine.

I’m not sure I would watch the movies by myself, but since I’ve been watching them with my friends, we are enjoying offering our thoughts and advice to the characters.  These are B grade monster movies, and are fun to mock as such.

While I did enjoy Tremors 3, I recognize the flaws.  And I am rating the movie accordingly.  If you know what you are getting into and in the mood for it, you’ll enjoy it despite the flaws.  Otherwise, skip it.

Movie Review: Tremors II - Aftershocks

Stars: 3 out of 5

Pros: Laughs

Cons: Weak story and pacing

The Bottom Line:

The Graboids strike back

Like characters and the laughs

Story weaknesses

“Stuff Like This Only Happens in the Middle of Nowhere.”

I was a little surprised when my friends decided they wanted to watch Tremors II: Aftershocks.  I knew they’d enjoyed the first movie, but I didn’t think we’d continue on with the franchise.  But I didn’t put up any resistance to the idea.

The action moves to an oil field in Mexico.  Production has halted because of a Graboid attack.  Because of his expertise, the owners go to Earl Bassett (Fred Ward) because he survived the original attack from these giant underground worms.  He reluctantly agrees, even getting roped in to including Grady (Chris Gartin) as his assistant.  However, things are not as simple as they seem, so he calls in Burt (Michael Gross).  Will they be able to deal with these monsters?

While I enjoyed this movie more than the first one, it is a worse movie.  Let me explain.

My problem with the first movie was that I found so many of the characters unlikeable.  It helps that Earl and Burt are the only survivors from the first one to come back.  While Grady is annoyingly dumb, he grew on me.  Honestly, they have a very small cast in this film, and the only other one we really get to know is Helen Shaver’s Kate Reilly.

The comedy is played up here, with some great lines and situations.  My friends and I were laughing the entire way through at the jokes.

However….

While the first film had a few jumps and some intense moments, this one never really put me anywhere near the edge of my seat.  Yes, I cared about the characters and how they were going to get out of this situation, but it was lacking the suspense the first one had.

The pacing was way off.  Honestly, the first third of the film was fairly plodding.  Even then, it didn’t really get good until the final third.

And, while the action may have increased with the final third, it fell into the sequel trap where we had to create some more mythology around the creatures.  It was actually a little ridiculous and it didn’t feel like it really fit with the creatures we knew from the first movie.

Speaking of which, we see less of the creatures, and I feel like they changed their design some, too, between movies.  Overall, the special effects are a little better, which only makes sense when you realize this one came out six years after the original.

Overall, the acting is good.  There are a few moments of cheese, but most of those comes from the scripts.  There are several times where the actors take some good lines and make them classics by their performance.  I’m thinking especially of one of Burt’s lines.

While I enjoyed Tremors II more than the original, it is still a B-movie monster flick.  It’s still only average at best, and my view might have been skewed by viewing it with my friends.  If you are looking for something silly, this might do it for you, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to see it.