Movie Review: The Fate of the Furious

Stars: 2 out of 5

Pros: Plenty of action

Cons: Action gets so over the top I had a hard time believing it

The Bottom Line:

Dom turns on the team

Action went too far for me

Even for franchise

“Dominic Toretto Just Went Rogue.”

Anyone who watches The Fast and the Furious movies looking for realism is sitting down to watch the wrong franchise.  Even for action movies, these go outside the realm of believability.  So when I tell you that The Fate of the Furious jumped the … submarine for me, that’s really saying something.  Ironically, it was something far less spectacular than the climax that threw me out of the film.

The film opens in Cuba, where Dominic (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) are on their honeymoon.  After an extended opening street race (got to remember our roots, after all), Dom is approached by a stranger.  The woman is the terrorist known as Cipher (Charlize Theron) and she blackmails Dom into betraying his team and joining her.  So, when they set out on a mission, teamed again with Hobbes (Dwayne Johnson), Dom takes something and disappears.  What is Cipher holding over him?  And which side is he really on?

So what scene went too far for me?  It’s a scene in New York City involving terrorists taking over parked cars to cause havoc.  Now, do I think that cars can be taken over by others?  Yes.  But that many?  Remotely?  So conveniently?  Sorry, I just wasn’t buying it.

Which is ironic since I didn’t have nearly as big an issue with the climax, which really did involve racing a submarine and jumping over it at one point.  Oh, and a team of bad guys who learned how to aim from storm troopers.  Okay, so maybe I didn’t buy in after that.  Or maybe they’ve just gone too far.

This is the first movie in the franchise since Paul Walker’s passing.  The movie has a couple of nice nods to him and his character of Brian O’Conner.  Jordana Brewster’s Mia doesn’t show up, which makes sense.  She hasn’t had much of a presence in the last couple of films outside a few scenes with Brian.

I will give the actors credit.  What is happening might be ridiculous, but they do their best to make it believable.  I appreciate their efforts.

And the stunts are often fun as always.  Unbelievable?  Absolutely, but the team behind them does a good job of making the impossible look possible.  It’s hard not to get caught up in the climax, especially.

The plot, which is just an excuse for the stunts, mostly holds together.  It’s as believable as the rest of the franchise, anyway.

If you are a fan, you’ll find much to like here.  Just turn off your brain or you’ll be nitpicking The Fate of the Furious.

Movie Review: The Marvels

Stars: 2 out of 5

Pros: The opening act was fun

Cons: Too much silly overall

The Bottom Line:

After opening

The film becomes too silly

This one’s skippable

“Is This an Avengers Test?”

I’ve let myself fall behind on the Marvel movies again.  (Let’s not even discuss how far behind I am on the shows.)  Part of that is because I stopped enjoying the movies, and what I was hearing about the movies I hadn’t seen wasn’t good.  Still, I’m hoping to catch up, at least on the movies.  And the first step toward that was The Marvels.  It was…interesting.

As the movie opens, the Kree, being led by Dar-Been (Zawe Ashton), are on the move, and Carol Danvers, aka Captain Marvel (Brie Larson), is trying to stop them.  Her stop at a wormhole that is sending out power surges coincides with Monica Rambeau (Teyonah Parris) investigating.  And, back on Earth, Kamala Khan, aka Ms. Marvel (Iman Vellani) is playing around with her bangle.  When an energy surge sends them swapping locations, chaos ensues.  But Dar-Been is still on the move.  Can the linked trio figure out a way to work together to stop her?

I’d heard lots of bad things about the movie, and for the first act, I was pleasantly surprised.  The opening action scene was quite fun.  Yes, Kamala and her fan girling was a bit much, but I was willing to look past that since it was appropriate for her character and her age.  It did go on a bit too long, but I was happy with how Carol responded to it.

As long as we are talking character stuff, the needed scene between Carol and Monica was way too short.  I get it, they only had 90 minutes or so of story time to work with, but it just didn’t seem like they earned the character reunion they pretended happened with the rest of the movie.

It was in the middle of the movie that things went off the rails.  The first time for me was the planet we visit half way through the movie.  Yes, it’s a fun gag at first.  But then, it goes on too long and just gets weird.

Then there’s the bit near the climax that, again, is just too weird.  Sorry, but I’m not buying it.

Overall, the movie seems to gloss over some plot details as well.  I felt like some crucial scenes were cut.  Or a major plot point was covered by one sentence of dialog.

Granted, I was watching this on Disney+, but I felt the special effects held up.  Which is good because, in many ways, the plot was just an excuse for special effects and stunts.

The acting was a bit of a mixed bag.  Some of the cast were fully committed, others felt like they weren’t that invested.

There was promise in this film, but it just got too silly by the end.  Unless you need to keep up with the MCU, there’s no reason to watch The Marvels.

Movie Review: Urban Legend

Stars: 4 out of 5

Pros: Decent and creative entry in the slasher genre

Cons: One performance, some logic issues, derivative of Scream

The Bottom Line:

Legends turn deadly

A lesser slasher entry

Genre fans should watch

“Don’t You Guys Get It?  It’s Just Like That Urban Legend.”

I know I saw Urban Legend back when it was originally released in the theater, but that’s been almost 30 years.  I’ve always wanted to see it again, but I finally made the time to do that.  While not the best of the late 90’s slashers, but is still fun for fans of the genre.

The movie was released in 1998 in the wake of the success of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer.  It has a very 90’s cast and finds its own hook.  You see, if early slashers were around holidays, inspired by Halloween and Friday the 13^th, Urban Legend was going to copy Scream and be a self-aware movie about a killer making urban legends deadly.

The movie takes us to Pendleton, a college in New Hampshire.  When a student dies, only one person takes it hard – Natalie (Alicia Witt).  But when another student dies, she starts raising the alarm that a killer is on the loose on campus.  Will anyone take her seriously before it is too late?

Yes, I am leaving out the urban legends used so you can discover them for yourself.  They were ones I remember having heard when the movie came out, and I enjoyed seeing how they played out on screen.  Who knows of these legends are still as known today, but for the time, it they were excellent choices.

The biggest complaint about the film is that it is a low rent Scream ripoff.  I’m not going to argue with that.  While you can argue about whether some of the elements are ripoffs or standard horror/slasher tropes, you can see the similarities.  What it doesn’t have is the dialogue of Scream or quite the meta humor and commentary.

Or the suspense sequences.  There are a couple that are decent and one pretty good chase sequence, but many of the sequences don’t have the suspense that Scream does.

Like with many slashers, you just have to ignore logic.  And it starts with the opening sequence with you just know wouldn’t happen that way.  But then again, when has a slasher ever had logic or realism going for it?

Apparently, the film was originally going to be set during winter, which would help explain the killer’s costume.  Considering the red herrings all needed to have that same winter jacket, I wish they’d kept that.  But what’s done is done.

Let’s talk the cast.  As I said, it is stacked.  We’ve got horror legends Robert Englund and Danielle Harris plus Brad Dourif in an uncredited part.  I already mentioned Alicia Witt, but we also have Jared Leto, Rebecca Gayheart, Michael Rosenbaum, Joshua Jackson, and Tara Reid plus Loretta Devine as the college’s security officer.  I did find one cast member’s performance to be rather stiff, especially the further we got into the film.  But the rest of the cast is pretty good.  And the killer is deliciously deranged when revealed.

Speaking of which, the plot is pretty well thought out.  There is a reason that things unfold the way they do, which I appreciate for a film like this.  Well, except the fact that the killer goes after everyone but the final girl, who is the true target.  But there I go expecting too much from one of these films again.

This is an R rated slasher.  While not quite as gory as some in the genre, it is still rated R for a reason, so keep that in mind before you decide to watch it.

And that final scene?  It will make you do a double take for sure.

This is not a top tear slasher.  I don’t know that I will have the need to watch it again any time soon (although I am very curious about the sequel).  But if you are a fan of the subgenre, you’ll be glad you gave Urban Legend a watch.

Movie Review: Misery

Stars: 5 out of 5

Pros: Strong script and acting draw you in

Cons: A few very violent scenes

The Bottom Line:

Writer and his fan

Great script and performances

In a tense thriller

“I’m Your Number One Fan.”

I’ve never been super interested in most of what Stephen King has written or the movies based on his stories.  The exception to that has always been Misery.  Probably because it isn’t the supernatural horror story that he is most famous for.  I finally watched it recently, and I enjoyed it.

Paul Sheldon (James Caan) is a bestselling novelist known for his insanely popular novels about a character named Misery.  However, he’s been working on something new.  As is his tradition, he’s gone to a secluded hotel in Colorado to finish the book.  On his way back to civilization with his completed manuscript, he gets caught in a blizzard and has a bad accident.

It could have been fatal if he hadn’t been rescued by Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates).  Fortunately, she’s a nurse, so she can help him recover from his injuries until the roads are opened enough to get him to the hospital.  And, she is a huge fan of his Misery books.  You might say obsessive.  Is Annie a help or not?

Yes, there are other characters in the movie, but for the majority of the run time, these two are the only ones on the screen.  And it’s a testament to both of them that we never feel the need for more characters.  Kathy Bates won an Oscar for her work here, and it is easy to see why.  James Caan is just as spellbinding.  While Kathy has to slowly let the crazy show, James has scenes by himself where his attempts to escape are riveting.  And you can see what he is thinking as his character plays along with Annie.  As I said, both of them are fantastic.

Likewise, much of the movie takes place in Paul’s bedroom in Annie’s house.  That becomes appropriately claustrophobic for Paul and us, and it makes the time we spend outside it that much more impactful.

Of course, the script and the novel it was based on, tell a compelling story.  Without the foundation of a good narrative, everything else would fall apart.  There are several tense scenes that will have you glued to the screen, and the tension ramps up as the movie goes along.  It is the reason a movie with limited characters and limited locations can work so well.

Having said all of this, this is an R rated movie.  There are several disturbing scenes.  Even a couple I knew were coming were pretty bad.  And I watched this on TV, too.  Keep that in mind before you decide to watch it.

But if you are looking for a phycological thriller, you can do much worse than Misery.  No, this hasn’t changed my mind on more of Stephen King’s work, but I’m glad I watched this one.

Movie Review: Murder Takes the Stage - A Garage Sale Mystery

Stars: 4 out of 5

Pros: Jennifer and crew are back in a decent mystery

Cons: Set up not well thought out; usual cheese

The Bottom Line:

Reenactment death

Jennifer steps up to solve

The franchise is back

“This Feels Like Old Times.”  “We’re Back!”

I never thought I’d be doing this, but I’m sitting down to review another Garage Sale Mystery.  The long running Hallmark mystery franchise had been canceled when star Lori Loughlin got caught up in the college admission scandal.  In fact, one of the movies was stopped mid-production and the finished one that hadn’t aired yet quietly debuted without too much fanfare a year later.  So I did a double take when I saw a new movie in the franchise, Murder Takes the Stage, was premiering this past weekend.  It was good to be back with the characters again.

Almost everyone is back for this movie, too.  The only character/actor missing is Jay Brazeau who played the pun loving coroner Dr. Tramell.  Okay, so Eva Bourne’s Hannah is essentially given a cameo, but I’ll take it.  After all, it’s been a few years, and that is reflected in both of the kids’ lives.  Hannah is off studying for the bar exam, having finished law school.  Younger brother Logan (Connor Stanhope) is in college, but locally, so he still gets involved in mom Jennifer’s sleuthing.

In the years since we’ve last seen her, Jennifer Shannon (Lori Loughlin) joined a murder mystery book club.   The club also puts on reenactments of famous crimes to raise money for the local food bank.  Their latest reenactment is of the Lizzie Borden story, and the debate between those who think she was guilty vs. those who think she was innocent is threatening to unravel the entire production.

But when Jennifer finds one of the actors in the production dead, things take an unexpected turn.  She’s sure it is someone else in the cast, but can she figure out which one it is?

As much as I was happy to see the characters again, I’ll also admit this was never a favorite franchise of mine.  Oh, I’ve watched them all, but I usually struggle with some aspects.  Like in this one – why are they putting on this play in a house?  And a bed and breakfast at that.  It means the various scenes are taking place in other rooms.  And why is a mystery book club putting on true crime stories?  Heck, for that matter, is this a fictional book club or a true crime book club?  Given Jennifer’s knack for solving mysteries, I could see it going either way.

Despite my issues with the setup, I did feel the mystery was well done.  We had several motives and red herrings that kept me guessing until Jennifer pieced everything together.  You’ve got to ignore how much Detective Frank Lynwood (Kevin O'Grady) defers to Jennifer.  It’s not remotely realistic.  Just go with it and enjoy.

Something else that hasn’t changed in this franchise is the liberal dose of low-budget cheese.  You can’t escape it here.  But if you are watching a Hallmark movie, you’re probably expecting it, right?

This was a very popular Hallmark mystery franchise, so I’m sure I’m not the only one who was happy to see it revived.  If you are a fan of the Garage Sale Mysteries, you’ll enjoy Murder Takes the Stage.

Movie Review: Coyote vs. Acme

Stars: 4 out of 5

Pros: Laughs and fun character moments

Cons: A bit broad overall

The Bottom Line:

Taking on a corp

Looney Tunes humor in court

Goal? To entertain

“How Hard Could It Be to Catch a Bird?”

The first time I heard about Coyote vs. Acme, I was on board.  It just sounded like so much fun.  Then, there was the whole drama with Warner Bros. deciding to shelve it for a tax write off.  So, I was thrilled when I heard that Ketchup Entertainment had bought the film, and I made a point of going to see it in the theater.

While the film is more live action than animated, we do have a good mix of animation in the real world.  And it starts like a classic Coyote and Road Runner cartoon.  Coyote is out to catch his dinner, Road Runner, and his latest Acme products do not work as he envisions them.  When he goes home that night, defeated, he sees an ad from a lawyer who represents people like him, harmed by shoddy products.

So Coyote heads into Albuquerque, New Mexico to hire Kevin Avery (Will Forte).  But Kevin just wants to go for the simple settlement, something that Coyote doesn’t want.  Suddenly, Kevin finds himself going up again his law school nemesis, Buddy Crane (John Cena), in a case that is drawing national attention.  Can he figure out how to win the case?

As I said earlier, this film is a mix of mostly live action with a little animation.  But the animation looks wonderful.  It’s more modern 3D, although they do have some fun nods to 2D animation.  The effects are outstanding.  It’s easy to buy what we are seeing on the screen.  And the human actors do a fantastic job of making us believe this world is real.

And yes, many of the Looney Toons characters show up.  Most have extended cameos to further the story.  This is Coyote’s film, and that’s fine.  But I did appreciate how the rest of the characters were used.

Anyone who goes to see the movie will have fun.  There are plenty of laughs from start to finish.  Yes, most of them are slapstick, but what would you expect?  This is a movie that is having fun, and it invites us along for the ride.  It knows it has one job, to entertain us, and it does it.

It is also refreshingly free of so much of the modern movie agenda.  Yes, the movie is an allegory for one issue (I’m being vague so as to not spoil things), but it’s never preachy about it, and it’s an easy issue to agree with the movie on.  While there is a mention or two of corporations being bad, in this case, Acme is pretty evil, so it works.  Again, the movie is focused on entertaining us.

Yet, it does have some nice, tender moments near the end.  These moments kind of snuck up on me, but they were well earned.

I mentioned earlier that the actors did a great job with the effects of the film.  The acting overall was good.  The characters were fairly broad, but that’s the writing.  Likewise, the character arcs were fairly predictable, but I was having fun overall, so I didn’t care.

Coyote vs. Acme is the light comedy we don’t get much anymore.  It’s not an event movie, but it’s a fun way to spend an hour and forty minutes.  You won’t be sorry you gave it a chance.

Movie Review: Saboteur

Stars: 4 out of 5

Pros: Good characters in an entertaining mystery

Cons: A few dated elements in the production

The Bottom Line:

Barry is accused

Goes on run to clear himself

Decent Hitchcock film

Trying to Clear His Name of Sabotage

It’s been a while since I watched any of Alfred Hitchcock’s movies. I think I’ve seen his most well regarded at this point, so I picked one of the DVDs I own I hadn’t watched yet. I’m glad I did because I found Saboteur enjoyable. 

The movie was released in 1942 and introduces us to Barry Kane (Robert Cummings), a young man doing his part of the war effort by working at a Los Angeles based airplane factory. In the middle of one of his shifts, a fire breaks out and his best friend winds up dying as he tries to fight the fire. Worse yet, the police quickly determine that the fire wasn’t an accident and think that Barry was responsible. 

So Barry does the only thing he can in this situation - he goes on the run to try to find the man he thinks is responsible in order to clear his name. Along the way, he meets up with Patricia Martin (Priscilla Lane), who doesn’t quite believe in his innocence. Can he figure out a way to bring the real saboteur to justice?

This is a classic Hitchcock innocent man story. Barry and Patricia wind up encountering several complications on their road trip to clear Barry’s name. Patricia’s loyalty switches, but all of these switches are believable based on what she’s just seen. This is definitely the kind of story you’ll only find in Hollywood. I mean, we meet circus performers at one point and the climax is over the top in a way only Hitchcock could pull off. 

There are a few times that the movie makes a leap and expects us to keep up. While I was able to do that, a line or two explaining what had happened off screen would have been nice. I have a feeling this is a case of dated story telling. 

Also dated was the acting. It is in keeping with the times but it was still a bit bigger than we are used to seeing these days. Nothing against the actors, who are all fine. As I said, it was the style of the day. 

Speaking of things like that, this is a black and white movie. 

Given all the talk these days about female characters, I couldn’t help but notice how Patricia came across. She starts out strongly of one opinion, but we see her struggle with that as the story goes along. The end of the movie is as much as result to her actions as it is Barry’s, and yet she was never doing anything that didn’t feel realistic for a woman. Both of them contribute significantly, and positively, to the resolution. It’s the result of their character growth over the course of the film. It’s so different from how characters fare in modern movies, and, frankly, it was refreshing. Okay, so their romance felt a little forced to me, but that’s a minor complaint overall. 

Those looking for some of Hitchcock’s thrills will be disappointed. This is more mystery than suspense although there are still a few moments that will draw you in. 

No, this isn’t the best movie Hitchcock ever made. But it is still entertaining. Sit down to watch Saboteur and you’ll find yourself entertained. 

Movie Review: Superman IV - The Quest for Peace

Stars: 1 out of 5

Pros: Um…some moments of late 80’s cheesy fun

Cons: Abrupt ending makes me not willing to forgive the film’s many flaws

The Bottom Line:

A lecture on peace

Film filled with late 80’s cheese

Feel free to skip

“Why Are There No Air Travel Expenses For You, Kent?”

Oh, I’d heard it was bad.  But, in my quest to watch all of the Christopher Reeve Superman movies, I still felt the need to watch Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.  Actually, I didn’t think it was a complete waste until we reached the end.  But then I started thinking about it, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized it’s bad.

This movie finds Clark Kent/Superman (Christopher Reeve) facing changes.  He’s selling his farm back in Smallville.  Meanwhile, The Daily Planet has been bought out by a publishing magnet (Sam Wanamaker) who focuses on tabloids.  The new publisher has put her daughter, Lacy (Mariel Hemingway) in charge of the paper, and she has a huge crush on Clark.  Meanwhile, Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) is still madly in love with Superman, but she has become friends with Clark.

Things start to really get going when a young boy writes to Superman, asking him to do something about nuclear war.  Meanwhile, Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman) escapes from prison with the help of his nephew Lenny (Jon Cryer) and starts plotting his revenge on Superman.

The movie is cheesy in a way that the first two movies aren’t.  I won’t deny that.  But, somehow, it feels a bit more on purpose than the tone I called out in Superman III.  Gene Hackman, especially, is having fun really playing it up.  Granted, his Lex was never exactly a super grounded, menacing villain.  But his attempt to fight Superman this time around, Nuclear Man (Mark Pillow) does nothing for the film.  It’s almost painfully cheesy.  Still, I was willing to buy into it.

What I did have trouble swallowing was Superman’s sudden announcement that he’s going to rid the world of all their nuclear weapons.  Like that’s going to help at all.  People will just create new ones.  And, I guess what we were seeing was people going along with it as they shot them into space for him to collect?  That just seems odd as well.  I remember how big a concern nuclear war was in the 1980’s.  But this movie, instead of attempting to address it in a meaningful way, just falls back into wishful thinking.  Just proof that Hollywood using “entertainment” to lecture isn’t something new.

It was really hard to follow the world that these characters were living in, too.  Lois seemed to know Clark’s secret a few times.  And then, the next minute, she was as clueless as always.  Meanwhile, Lana Lang isn’t even mentioned despite the fact that she was supposed to be working at The Daily Planet at the end of the previous movie.

I’ve seen some complaints that the special effects are a step down from the first two films in the series.  I actually didn’t find that to be a problem.  My problem was, there are a ton more of them.  Superman fights Nuclear Man quite a bit in the second half of the film, with both of them flying in and out of the atmosphere.  There are entire sequences that are just them fighting.  All of that requires effects.  And the more effects there are, the worse it is going to look.  Not to mention, if you see the effects for 30 seconds vs. minutes on end.

I found the acting to be a bit uneven.  Clark and the crew at The Daily Planet were fine, and I bought their performances.  Lex Luthor and his cohort were over the top, really playing up the cheese.  Somehow, it worked for me.  I’d forgotten that Jon Cryer was in this movie as Lex’s nephew.  It’s fun since he would go on to turn in a fantastic performance as Lex in the recent Supergirl TV show on The CW.

Then there’s a scene where Superman and Clark are supposed to be on a double date.  It was a bit of mindless fun, but it went on far too long. 

Honestly, I was chalking some of this up to late 80’s cheese.  No, the movie wasn’t especially good, but when viewed through that lens, I was a little more willing to let it go.

Then we reach the ending, when the movie pretty much just stops.  I wish I were joking, but I’m not.  I’m unclear on how we permanently stopped Nuclear Man.  Not to mention how the person Superman rescued was even breathing in space.  I’m willing to buy Superman note needing to breathe, but a human?  Then, we get quick wrap ups to several storylines that make little sense and certainly weren’t set up by the earlier events of the film.  Not to mention how I found what lead to Superman’s recovery to be a cheap plot device even if it was set up early in the film.

A better ending would have let me chalk up the flaws with being a late 80’s movie.  But the rushed stop we get to Superman IV: The Quest for Peace makes me much less forgiving.  Yes, this pretty much is as bad as you’ve heard.  Don’t bother unless you feel the need to watch all of these movies.

Movie Review: Jaws - The Revenge

Stars: 2 out of 5

Pros: Acting

Cons: Just about everything else

The Bottom Line:

Shark stalks family

Film mostly ridiculous

Feel free to skip

The Jaws Franchise Goes Out with a … Roar?

I’d heard it was bad. But I still wanted to see for myself just how bad Jaws: The Revenge is. Maybe my expectations were low because I thought it wasn’t as bad as I expected. Not saying it is great, either. 

We start up in Amity where a tragedy befalls the Brody family, leaving widow Ellen (Lorraine Gary) grieving over her second loss. Her son, Michael (Lance Guest), invites her to go with his family back to the Bahamas where he is conducting research on sea snails. 

Ellen agrees to go, even meeting the charming pilot Hoagie (Michael Caine) along the way. But she is certain that a great white shark is stalking her family. At least it seems crazy….

The movie is set around Christmas, which left me scratching my head. I wonder if that was the original release day, and it got moved. I mean, it just doesn’t seem like this franchise would fit into the Christmas season. 

So, where do issues with the move start?

First, let’s talk about the lack of continuity with the previous movie. Michael is suddenly a biologist instead of an engineer of some kind? Honestly, I don’t mind so much that we’ve got our fourth actor playing the character. I kind of expect it at this point. 

Then there’s the premise of a shark with a vendetta being out for revenge. I know animals are smart. But that smart? As smart as the plot requires it to be? Please. Not to mention the travel involved. 

On the other hand, I will give this shark credit - it only goes after its targets. Some of the killers in slashers should learn from this shark and leave the extra characters alone. 

Of course, horror fans will complain that the body count is low, and they do have a bit of a point. Especially with the ending I saw. Apparently, there are two endings to the film, and I’m going with the slightly happier one since it is the one I saw. 

And that’s one of the other flaws with this film, the tone. Even for a creature feature horror movie, this is a dismal movie. I get it considering how the movie opens, but the sad tone keeps it from being enjoyable. 

Now, this isn’t to blame the actors. They are doing the best they can with the material they have. And Lorraine’s performance is phenomenal. 

Back to what doesn’t work. There’s the script. For the plot to work, Michael has to be incredibly stupid. I mean, anyone with a brain and all his family has been through would never go along with what he agrees to here. 

Not to mention some improbable escapes. 

There are a couple of suspenseful scenes, but the rest of the movie is so crazy that we can’t take them seriously. 

Finally, can we talk about the roar? Yes, the shark roars during the climax. Now, I’m not a biologist, and I know some animals can make noise when you don’t expect them do, but this seems a little silly. Then again, I don’t have any issue with the metallic sound effect the knife makes in the Scream movies when it is pulled out, so I’m willing to turn a blind eye when I love a franchise.

The special effects are okay. A few don’t hold up, but a few of the scenes are quite effective. 

I can’t say the same for the opening. It’s so dark, it’s hard to follow. And, honestly, that character deserved better. 

Jaws: The Revenge is on par with the third movie for me. Unless you are a diehard fan of the franchise, there’s no reason to watch it.

Movie Review: A Royal Wedding - A Prince in Paradise III

Stars: 4 out of 5

Pros: Nice caper to a fun trilogy

Cons: Plot could have been more original; low-budget cheese

The Bottom Line:

A wedding on hold

Revisiting characters

Who are still charming

Will Politics Stop a Wedding?

When I was perusing Great American Family movies a few years ago, I stumbled on A Prince in Paradise, and immediately fell under its charm.  I was there to watch the Christmas themed sequel that aired in 2024.  And I’ve been keeping my eyes opened for the promised third movie, A Royal Wedding.  It was exactly what I expected, which means I enjoyed it.

If you haven’t been following the franchise, romance writer Olivia (Rhiannon Fish) met Prince Alexander of Trovia (Mitchell Bourke) while both were vacationing on a tropical island.  Despite the differences in their stations in life, they fell in love, getting engaged at Christmas.  Now, the time has come for them to finally wed, and they and their families are thrilled the day has arrived.

But not everyone is happy about it.  One of the lords of Trovia has rallied a few other nobility to invoke a little-known law and stop the wedding the night before it is to take place.  While Alexander’s mother, Queen Patricia (Andrea Moor), attempts to find a legal way to get the wedding back on track, Olivi and Alexander take their own paths to overcome the obastcle.  Will the couple ever get married?

It would have been nice to see them come up with some kind of new obstacle for the couple here since this has been a theme in the first two movies.  And, I get it, this is a real issue for royals over the centuries.  But I feel like they could have found something new to threaten the wedding.

Because, let’s face it, we know where this movie is going to wind up.  It’s right there in the movie’s title.  And it’s what we’d expect from a light romance.  I suspected the how, but I didn’t mind because I was enjoying hanging out with the characters again as they tried to figure things out.  And yes, I might have shed a tear or two.

And this is due to the characters.  They continue to be charming.  I loved getting to spend time with them again.

Obviously, this is due to the acting from the cast.  They bring their characters to life wonderfully and make us want to see what happens in this next chapter.

Now, this isn’t to say the movie (and franchise) don’t suffer from low-budget cheese.  If that bothers you, you’ll want to steer clear.  But if you can accept that, you’ll have fun with these films.

With how this movie ends, I feel like we are saying goodbye to the characters.  I do feel like this is a good place to stop because I feel good about where we left the characters.  But if they decided to revisit Olivia and Alexander, I’d certainly watch.

A Royal Wedding is a fun ending to the A Prince in Paradise trilogy.  Fans will definitely want to tune in to see how it ends.

Movie Review: Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

Stars: 3 out of 5

Pros: Action, entertaining enough

Cons: Plenty of flaws in just about every department

The Bottom Line:

Aquaman returns

In this uneven sequel

Don’t rush to see it

“Are You Calling Me One in a Million?”

I always intended to watch Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom.  I just wasn’t interested enough to watch it in the theater.  After all, by the time it came out, we already knew that the DC Superhero movies were getting a reboot, so there was no rush.  But thanks to cable I finally got to see it.

The movie picks up several years after the first one, and we fortunately get brought up to speed, which also helped me remember who all the characters are.  Arthur Curry, aka Aquaman, (Jason Momoa), has married Mera (Amber Heard), and the two have a baby.  He’s finding fatherhood very rewarding.  And yes, they are living on land.  Arthur is finding his job as the king of Atlantis to be much less rewarding than he’d hoped, mainly because he keeps getting tied up in bureaucracy and meetings.  Seems life under the sea isn’t that different from life here on land.

But, over the course of five months, greenhouse gases rise to the point that they are greatly disrupting weather on Earth, both for land dwellers and Atlanteans.  What Arthur doesn’t know is that it is the word of David Kane, aka Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II).  He’s out to get his revenge of Arthur.  But to track him down, Arthur will have to turn to an unlikely ally.  Will it be enough to defeat him?

I enjoyed the first one, so I had hoped to enjoy this one as well.  Sadly, it wasn’t nearly as good as I hoped it would be.  I did appreciate the run time of just over two hours.  There wasn’t much wasted time, and the action scenes, while still frequent, weren’t overly drawn out.

Unfortunately, they could have cut out one action sequence to given the characters a bit more time to be developed.  That said, I did like how one relationship grew, but most of the characters felt like pieces being moved around by the plot instead of fully fleshed out characters.  This is a script problem instead of an actor problem.

Not that all the acting was good.  It seemed just about everyone had a moment where the acting was off.  Yes, some of that was definitely the writing, which was weak all the way around.  Some of the lines the characters had?  They were cringe worthy no matter how they were delivered.

Which brings us to the climax.  Much of it worked, but there was one aspect that had me rolling my eyes.  Hard.

Plus, we had to get a couple of lectures in about climate change.

Even the special effects are a mixed bag.  Once again, I loved the illusion when they were under water.  But some of the effects looked downright cheesy.

Now, all of this sounds like I hated the movie.  That’s not true.  It was entertaining enough to keep me engaged the entire way through and get caught up in the third act.  I’m glad I finally watched it.  But, it’s just a case of the flaws being obvious and distracting, which kept me from getting fully invested.

I’m not sorry I finally watched Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom.  But it’s not a movie I’ll be rushing back to watch any time soon.  Only if you are trying to keep up with superhero movies would you need to seek this one out.

Movie Review: The African Queen

Stars: 4 out of 5

Pros: Strong acting and interesting story

Cons: Definitely shows its age

The Bottom Line:

Trip down a river

Filled with plenty of danger

Dated but good film

Treacherous Trip Down the River

I’ve heard of The African Queen for years.  It’s a legendary classic movie, after all.  When I spotted it on Turner Classic Movies, I decided to watch it.  While it definitely shows its age, I did enjoy it.

The movie is set in Africa in 1914.  Rose Sayer (Katharine Hepburn) and her brother, Sam (Robert Morley) are missionaries in a remote village until World War I finds them.  Germans come in, kidnap the natives, and destroy the village.  In the aftermath, Sam dies, so when Charlie Allnutt (Humphrey Bogart) returns with his boat, The African Queen, Rose is all too willing to leave with him.

Charlie is all for hiding out since the Germans would want to take his boat for the supplies he carries from location to location up and down the river.  However, Rose has another idea.  She wants them to take the boat up the river and use it to destroy a German ship patrolling a lake there.  Will they make it?

This movie was made in 1951.  You’ll want to keep that in mind as you watch.  The storytelling and acting are definitely different than we get now.  I got impatient as the movie took a while introducing the characters and setting up the story.  But once the duo left on the boat, things picked up.  It was fairly episodic as they faced one set back after another and had to figure out how to overcome it.  But it does entertain as it does so.

The movie was filmed partially in Africa and partially on a soundstage.  You can definitely tell when they are using a sound stage because the effects are obvious today.  However, the fact that it was filmed on location, something that wasn’t done nearly as much back then, makes much of the movie look wonderful.

One last thing I found annoying; the characters called each other by name in most lines of dialogue.  Please, just stop!

With Rose being a missionary, I was expecting a refined woman who shied away from adventure.  Yes, she is refined, and she and Charlie do butt heads upon occasion (more so before they fall in love) because he isn’t nearly as refined as she is.  However, she is much more adventurous than I, or Charlie, gave her credit for being.  That leads to a couple of funny scenes.  Yes, they both have moments of weakness.  I liked that.  It’s realistic that at some point you’ll want to give up.  But I appreciated that the other person stepped up and handled the situation.  That teamwork was fantastic.

While there are some other actors in the film, the majority of the time, it is just Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn on screen.  They rise to the occasion perfectly.  I buy their performances, even with the script gives them some sudden turns.  Bogart won an Oscar for his performance here, and Katharine Hepburn was nominated for one.  It’s easy to see why.

If you enjoy classic movies and have missed this one, it is worth going back and correcting that oversight.  As long as you remember how old the movie is, you’ll appreciate The African Queen.

Movie Review: Toy Story 5

Stars: 3 out of 5

Pros: Good message; nice to see old friends again

Cons: Missing the charm of the first three

The Bottom Line:

It’s toys vs. tech

Tackles subject thoughtfully

But lacking the fun

Surprisingly Nuanced

It’s been several years since I watched any Disney or Pixar animated movie.  And my feelings on Toy Story 4 have changed over the years (I don’t like it as much as I tried to convince myself I did when I first saw it.)  But I have seen all the Toy Story films in the theater (not counting the Buzz Lightyear movie), and I knew I’d kick myself if I didn’t go see Toy Story 5 while it was still in the theater.

After letting Andy grow up in real time, Bonnie (voiced by Scarlett Spears) has stayed a young girl.  And, as we rejoin her and her toys, she is too shy to make any friends, even with her neighbors.  Of course, soon Sheriff Jessie (Joan Cusack) learns that a plague is sweeping through the world, technology.  It is turning all the kids into mindless zombies who just stare at their screens.

To Jessie’s horror, Bonnie’s parents get her Lilypad (Greta Lee), Lily for short.  This device connects Bonnie with some girls from her dance class.  Will they be good friends for Bonnie?  Or is there someone better out there?

Yes, this is Jessie’s movie.  Honestly, I’m okay with that.  They do give Woody and Buzz (Tom Hanks and Tim Allen) a substantive subplot, while many of the familiar toys are reduced to extended cameos.  I do miss them, but I get it.  If you are going to tell new stories, you can’t keep all these toys in the story, too.  It just gets too cluttered.

This movie really plays on Jessie’s background, first introduced in Toy Story 2.  Again, I’m not sure we needed to go there, but I did feel like it worked, and I appreciated it.  And I especially appreciated the growth Jessie got as a result.  I feel like it’s something that has been missing from the franchise, but maybe I just need to rewatch the original trilogy.

Which brings us to something I especially appreciated.  In the discussion about devices and technology, it starts out fairly black and white, but it becomes gray as the movie goes on.  After all, like almost anything else, technology can be good or bad.  I also appreciated that it clearly showed adults just as addicted to technology as the kids because it is true.  (Admits the guy who spends so much time working on internet reviews.  And thanks for reading them!)

Having said all of this, the movie was missing that spark that made the original trilogy so special.  I’m not sure what they had to say about technology was worth a new entry in the franchise.  I still would have been okay if they had stopped at the original trilogy with the occasional special.

Then there’s Buzz’s storyline.  I’ve always appreciated his romance with Jessie, but I felt like they were trying too hard for laughs with him.  He’s never been the sharpest, but he felt especially clueless here.

On the other hand, there are a couple of running gags with Woody that I enjoyed.

I guess part of the problem is the things that made the originals feel so special, all those little details, are now such a familiar part of the world these characters live with, they’ve lost the special feeling and they’ve lost the ability to make us laugh and smile.  Instead, the majority of the humor came from a new potty-training device.  Yeah, you can guess where those jokes are going.  I wasn’t a big fan.

There is a mid-credits scene you’ll want to watch.  And there is something at the end of the credits as well, but I didn’t think it was worth sticking around for.

I’m glad I saw Toy Story 5, but I’m glad I went on a discounted night to see it.  It’s fun to see old friends again, but the spark that made the original trilogy so special is still missing.

Movie Review: Upgrade

Stars: 2 out of 5

Pros: Interesting premise

Cons: Several overly violent scenes; ending doesn’t quite work

The Bottom Line:

Creative premise

Marred by violence, ending

So does not quite work

When Technology Seems Too Good to be True

I hadn’t heard of the movie Upgrade until a friend suggested it for a movie night.  It sounded intriguing from his description, so we gave it a try.  There was certainly an interest premise in the movie, but the execution didn’t quite work.

The movie is set is the near future and tells the story of Grey Trace (Logan Marshall-Green).  He’s happy with his life rebuilding classic cars while his wife, Asha (Melanie Vallejo) brings in the big bucks working for a tech company.  They are happy until one night when their self-driving car suddenly crashes in the bad part of town.  They are attacked after the accident.  Grey is left a quadriplegic, but Asha is killed.

Grey is offered a chance at a normal life from billionaire Eron Keen (Harrison Gilbertson).  Eron has a new technology that could help Grey walk again just like nothing had ever happened.  Grey is supposed to keep this a secret from everyone, however.  But when he returns home, Grey discovers that he has a few unexpected upgrades in his life.  Will they help him find the men who killed his wife?

This movie can’t quite decide what it wants to be.  It is part mystery/thriller.  As an avid mystery reader, I enjoyed that aspect of things.  It is part science fiction movie, with the near future setting and the upgraded technology.  And there are another couple of genres mixed in as well that I don’t want to get into so as not to spoil things.  It’s not that these parts can’t mix.  They just don’t quite seem to completely mix here.

I did like Grey.  The more he is pulled into his strange new life, the more I was pulled into the movie.  I couldn’t figure out where exactly it was going, which was a good thing.  The credit for this goes to Logan Marshall-Green.  He has to carry much of the movie on his shoulders, and he does a great job of it.  This isn’t to diminish the performances of the rest of the cast.  They just don’t have the same amount of screen time he does.

Despite the futuristic setting, there aren’t a ton of special effects.  What there are work well, however.  Likewise, the stunts are good.

There are two places where the movie falls apart.  One of the violence.  There are several pretty graphic scenes that weren’t needed.  They could have gotten the story points across with much less graphic images.

The second is the ending.  It many ways, it felt like the movie just stopped instead of ending.  Part of that comes from some late breaking twists that don’t wrap everything up and make us question why some of the earlier things that happened happened.

The premise for Upgrade was good, but there were some flaws in the execution that made me feel the writing needed an upgrade.

Movie Review: Supergirl (1984)

Stars: 1 out of 5

Pros: Brenda Vaccaro’s performance is fun

Cons: The rest of the movie is a mess

The Bottom Line:

Story has plot holes

Honestly, not much works here

You can skip this one

“You’re Superman’s Best Friend?”  “No, He’s My Cousin.”

I’d heard bad things about 1984’s Supergirl, but I was still curious about it.  And, since it was available on one of my streaming services, I figured I should give it a chance.  You know those bad things I’d heard about it?  They were all true.

Our story opens in Argo City, a giant floating ship filled with refugees from Krypton.  Among them is Kara-El (Helen Slater), who, when we meet her, is playing with the sphere that powers the entire ship.  Shocking, it gets away from her, dooming all those on the ship unless it is retrieved from Earth, where it landed.  So, Kara-El goes to retrieve it.

Unfortunately, before she lands, it is found by Selena (Faye Dunaway), a witch.  It actually makes her able to do magic, so Selena wants to keep it, figuring it will help her plans to take over the world.  Will Kara-El be able to find it?

This movie had so many plot holes you could have floated Argo City through each of them.  Okay, so Kara-El wasn’t the one who took the sphere in the first place, but still, why would anyone do that if it is what is keeping everyone alive?  Why, when Kara-El lands on Earth, did she bother taking on a secret identity since her parents and friends’ lives were dependent on her bringing the sphere back as quickly as possible?  How did Selena find a way to tap into some of the Superman mythos at random?  Why did Kara-El emerge from her pod in a costume so much like Superman’s?

Okay, so Kara-El’s secret identity was there to introduce us to characters from the Superman stories.  Her roommate is Lucy Lane, as played by Maureen Teefy.  And Lucy just happens to be dating Jimmy Olsen, as played by Marc McClure, the only actor from the Superman movies to show up here.  But still, that seemed to slow down what was supposed to be a ticking clock story.

I don’t know that I feel like the plot ever made up for the plot holes.  While it wasn’t quite as bad as a random series of events, it did throw in some truly random things, as if the writers really didn’t know what to do and had to fill screen time while including things Superman fans know about.  Even so, you can pretty much guess where it is going early on.  It’s just the details you’ll have no way of predicting.

Then there’s the acting.  Most of the cast is playing things so over the top it doesn’t work.  There’s fun camp, and then there’s this.  The exception to this is Brenda Vaccaro who plays Selena’s sidekick with the right level of camp and sarcasm.  I found her fun.  I’ve seen Helen Slater in other things, most noticeably in the recent TV show Supergirl, so I know she can do a wonderful job when given good material.  This wasn’t it.  Same holds true for others in the cast.

Of course, the effects are dated.  This came out in 1984, after all.  Even then, I’ve seen better effects from that time period.  Or maybe, I was just enjoying those movies more so I was more forgiving.

There’s a reason you haven’t heard much about 1984’s Supergirl.  And there’s no reason to seek this out to watch it.

Movie Review: Superman III

Stars: 2 out of 5

Pros: Some acting

Cons: Uneven, cheesy, just generally disappointing

The Bottom Line:

Good performances

In subpar super movie

Overall cheesy

“I’m From Metropolis.  I See Superman Every Day.”

While I’ve never watched the Christopher Reeve Superman movies, I knew their reputation.  So, even though I wanted to watch Superman III, I also knew not to set my expectations too high.  Even so, this movie disappoints.

After spending several minutes on an unexplainable series of near misses and hits in Metropolis, we meet up with Clark Kent (Christopher Reeve) as he pitches a story about a man attending his fifteen-year high school reunion.  Yep, Clark wants to head back to Smallville.  Inexplicably, Perry White (Jackie Cooper) agrees to the idea, and Clark sets out.  While there, he reunites with his high school crush, Lana Lang (Annette O’Toole).

Meanwhile, computer programming savant Gus Gorman (Richard Pryor) catches the eye of his boss, evil rich mogul Ross Webster (Robert Vaughn).  Ross wants to use Gus’s abilities to program computers to bend others to his will.  And his will is making more money.  Will Superman be able to stop him?

You might be wondering where Margot Kidder’s Lois Lane is in all of this.  That’s an excellent question.  She heads off on vacation near the beginning of the movie, and pops up in the last scene to set up a romantic triangle that I’m assuming doesn’t pay off in the next movie.  Essentially, she has a glorified cameo. 

They were setting up Lana as a new long term love interest here.  It’s very obvious to anyone paying attention.  Honestly, I would have liked to see that play out in another movie.  Sadly, Annette O’Toole wasn’t invited back for the next one because she was excellent as Lana.  Fortunately, she was able to transition this to playing Martha Kent on Smallville.  Because of knowing that connection and enjoying her work on that show, I was curious to see this movie.

So that’s covered the romance of it all.  What about the rest?  Honestly, the movie is just strange all the way around.  There are long sections that don’t really add much to the movie.  Some of them were attempts at humor that fall flat, at least today.  Some of them are character moments, but they go on too long.  One extended scene is used as set up for the climax, but I feel like we could have gotten something without the extended time.

Part of it is because Clark/Superman is in a parallel story to the villains without really knowing much about them or what they are up to until it is time for act three.  It feels like we are just plodding along as a result.

In the middle of the movie, Superman gets broken.  Again, this part of the movie went on too long, and I found the resolution to it a bit unsatisfying.

Which brings us to the climax, where the movie devolves (if that is possible) to a cheesy science fiction movie, complete with an all-powerful computer.

And the effects?  Can we say 1983?  Okay, so I’m sure they were state of the art at the time, but they are dated now.  I’d be more willing to go along with them if the movie were better overall.  But there is one part of the climax that is nostalgically bad, if that makes any sense.  Well, old video game players will get it.

Having said all this, I couldn’t help but think how modern some parts of the film felt.  Even back then, we were talking about the dangers of computers and what they could do to our society.  Then there’s the fact that the villain is a rich guy who wants to get richer.  Somehow, he didn’t feel nearly as much a lecture as an equivalent villain would in today’s movies.  Maybe because he was part cartoon.

And no, I don’t think any of the actors were bad.  They were playing the parts as they were supposed to.  It’s the way they were written.  Those who are playing their characters straight were pretty good.  And I did like the scene where Superman/Clark had to confront what he’d turned into from an acting standpoint.  Christopher Reeve was good there even if the scene was pretty hokey.

I do want to circle back to the humor.  While much of it fell flat for me, there were some moments I enjoyed.  And, overall, I did appreciate the lighter tone of the film.

I know the fourth movie is viewed as even worse than this one.  I’m almost afraid to watch it.  But I’ve come this far, so I’ll give it a watch.  Know what you are getting into if you decide to watch Superman III.  Yes, what you’ve heard about it is true.

Movie Review: Eye for an Eye - A True Justice Mystery

Stars: 4 out of 5

Pros: Good mystery

Cons: Took a while to remember characters; what season is this?

The Bottom Line:

Sequel finally

Murder among parents’ group

Overall, I liked

“We Are Going Back to High School.”

I was a bit surprised when I saw that we were getting a second True Justice movie on Hallmark.  Then again, I was also surprised to find that it had been two and a half years since the first one aired.  Somehow, I was thinking it had been longer.  Anyway, we revisited these law student detectives in Eye for an Eye.

For them, it’s been a few months since the four friends cleared Casey’s (Katherine McNamara) brother of murder.  They’ve been filling their time with true crime shows and their school work when Liam (Alexander Nunez) finds them another case.  Seems that a parent association in a small town about half an hour away has erupted into murder.  The president was killed, and another mom has been convicted of the crime.  But as the friends start looking into things, they find evidence that makes them think justice hasn’t been served.  Can they figure out what really happened?

There was one thing that bothered me.  It was small.  But it kept driving me crazy.  The murder happened three months before our characters got involved.  The body was found in the snow.  During that time, the trial had already taken place.  Granted, right there, that is very fast.  But it was just as snowy in the present day as it was during the flashbacks.  Now, granted, I don’t live where in snows, but the characters (and production) acted like it was a few weeks at most instead of months.

I do wish we’d had a bit more of a reintroduction to the characters in this movie.  The assumption was made that we remember exactly who everyone was.  Now, I could have rewatched the first movie, but I didn’t, so it has been almost two and a half years since I met the characters.  I think I got everyone and their relationships figured out as the movie went along, however.

The mystery itself was good.  There were enough suspects to keep me engaged.  The characters’ attempts to gather evidence was fun without being too cartoonish.  Realistic?  No.  But I’m not watching these movies for realism.  The ending made sense, and I liked how the subplot wrapped up.

The acting was decent as well.  If you are familiar with Hallmark movies, you’ll know what to expect here, and you’ll be able to get lost in the story.  I should mention that Hallmark staples Benjamin Ayres and Nikki DeLoach reprise their supporting roles.  And Nikki DeLoach helped write the movie once again.

It was nice to revisit the True Justice characters with Eye for an Eye.  I hope if we get a third movie, it doesn’t take as long to get to us.