Walt Disney World Review: Dinosaur

Stars: 1 out of 5

Pros: Um, um...give me a minute...um

Cons: Too jerky, jumpy, and dark with few visuals to follow what is happening around you.

The Bottom Line:

If I could go back

In time, I'd skip this ride.  Please

Learn from my mistake

The Longest Three Minutes of My Life

By the time I got around to riding on Dinosaur on my trip to Disney World a few years back, it was just one friend and myself.  This friend is a steady companion at Disneyland here in California.  The importance of all this will be explained later.  For now, just know that neither one of us enjoyed this ride in the slightest.

Dinosaur is located in the Dinoland USA section of Animal Kingdom.  The lines can obvious get pretty long, and the ride does use the Fast Pass system.  When I was there in late September, I bypassed most of the line and pretty much walked to the final wait area.  This area involves a video that sets up the ride.  There, we are informed that we are about to enter specially equipped time machines.  While the original intent is to go to the time when the dinosaurs are thriving, one scientist has changed our coordinates.  We're supposed to track down an already tagged iguanodon and bring him back to the present with us before the meteor shower kills the dinosaurs and traps us back in time.

From there we enter jeeps designed for around 16 people.  Each person gets their own seatbelt.  And we're off to the past.  We enter a world of the dinosaurs.  We get to see the plant eaters and the meat eaters.  Then the meat eaters start to chase us.  And the meteor shower starts.  All the time, the scientist is updating us on our mission via the computers linking us back to the present.  Can we find our target before time runs out?

This ride is designed to be a thrill ride, make no mistake about it.  While the cars are on a track, the hydraulics in the car bounce you around to simulate running for your lives over the rough pre-historic terrain.  Some of the dinosaurs pop out at you at the last possible second to scare you.  There are light, smoke, and wind effects.  And yet, at least half of the ride is in the dark with the lights only coming on long enough to show you the latest scare.

Now comes the part where my friend and I come back into the picture.  I love thrill rides (and non-thrill rides, too).  She enjoys most Disney thrill rides.  Neither one of us enjoyed this ride in the least.  When the three minutes were up, we walked off and vowed to never go back on it again.  Because it was in the dark, I felt like everything was closing in on me.  Speeding through the dark can be fun (we love Space Mountain).  But this wasn't fun in the slightest.

Frankly, our reaction surprised me since we both enjoy the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland.  If you aren't familiar with that ride, it is the exact same type of vehicle and very similar type of ride.  However, that ride is lit almost the entire way through and things aren't jumping right at you most of the time.  This ride was just too jerky, rough, and dark to be any fun at all.

To ride, you need to be at least 40 inches tall.  While I don't recommend the ride at all, I especially don't recommend it for young kids.  They will be easily frightened by everything that jumps out at you.

I think if they just left the lights on, Dinosaur would have been a fun ride.  As it is, there's nothing thrilling about it.

Walt Disney World Review: Carousel of Progress

Stars: 3 out of 5

Pros: Good history of inventions; fun final scene

Cons: More history than entertainment, so a little dry

The Bottom Line:
A trip back in time

For invention history

Okay with some fun

It's a Great Big Beautiful History Lesson

As long as I can remember, I’ve heard about Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress, an attraction he originally created for the 1964 World’s Fair and then moved to Disneyland before it moved to its current home in Walt Disney World.  When I finally made it to the Florida theme park several years back, I was thrilled to finally experience this attraction.  It didn’t quite live up to my expectations, but I think much of that was me.

The attraction is located in the back corner of Tomorrowland in the Magic Kingdom across from Space Mountain and across from Buzz Light Year’s Space Ranger Spin.  Just look for the big round building.  There are rarely any crowds for this one, and it only officially operates during peak season, but from what I’ve heard, it is open most days.

The “carousel” is really a show in the circular theater.  The audience sits in seats and then rotates around the center, which consists of four stages plus the area for loading and unloading.

Each stage is a scene, and as we move forward, we move through the seasons and time.  What do I mean?  Well, the first stop in early 1900’s on Valentine’s Day.  Then we move to a 4thof July during the 1920’s.  The third stop is Halloween in the 40’s before we hit Christmas day in roughly modern times.

At each stop, we observe an average family as they enjoy and discuss the benefits of modern technology.  In many ways it is a history lesson as we see everything from gas lamps and hand-cranked washing machine at the first top to radio and a sewing machine in the 20’s and an automatic dishwasher and television in the 40’s.

The family consists of audio-animatronics figures who age slightly as the years progress, but basically stay the same.  Most of the talking is done by the father, and a few appear on stage briefly to show something or other and interact with him.  Hair and clothing styles are changed to reflect the times, but it’s easy to recognize everyone.

The exception to the pattern is the final scene which depicts the family enjoying each other’s company on Christmas day.  We actually have most of the family on stage at the same time as they enjoy a flat screen TV, a virtual reality video game, and see the downside of a voice recognition oven.  This is actually the best scene because it introduces some great humor at the family interacting with the technology.

As we transition from each scene, we hear the song “There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow.”  It’s catchy, and you’ll probably find yourself humming it as you leave.

While I know some people who love this attraction, I wasn’t drawn to it right away.  Three of the four scenes are actually rather dry history lessons.  It’s only when we get to the final scene that it starts to be fun.  Frankly, because of all the history, it feels like a better fit on Main Street than Tomorrowland.

I think part of the problem is the time gaps.  When the attraction first opened in the 1960’s, the four stages were the 00’s, 20’s, 40’s and 60’s.  They’ve updated the final scene several times over the years to keep it up to date, however, that’s meant we travel over 100 years in 25 or so minutes.  Honestly, I think it would be better to update the entire thing.  Maybe the 1900’s, 1940’s, 1980’s, and today.  It would still show the progression of history and how much things have changed, but it wouldn’t feel quite so dated.  Of course, those who love the attraction as is would probably hate the changes.  I know I hate it when they change something I love too much.

I did go on this ride twice while I was there, and I enjoyed it more the second time, probably because I knew a bit more what to expect.  Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress is still only an okay attraction – good for its history but not a must do.

Walt Disney World Review: Tomorrowland Transit Authority

Stars: 4 out of 5

Pros: Short lines and a relaxing ride

Cons: For some, too tame.  Lots of outdoor parts, so exposed to weather

The Bottom Line:
Relax and enjoy

Tour of Tomorrowland

From above the crowds

Enjoy a Leisurely Tour of Tomorrowland

When they removed the PeopleMovers from Tomorrowland here in California, I was crushed.  I always enjoyed riding them in the afternoon and enjoying a few minute break.  So when I visited Disney World and discovered that the Tomorrowland in the Magic Kingdom had the Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMovers, I had to ride it.

The idea is that you are taking a trip on the public transit of the future.  You go up to a platform that allows you to board these always in motion cars.  Four people will fit into each car facing each other, which means half of the people ride backwards.  There are no restraints and no height limits, although you must be able to get out of your wheelchair to the platform and board to ride.

Once you are on board, you are in for a 10 minute tour of Tomorrowland as you travel over almost a mile of track.  You weave in and out of the various buildings and hear spiels for the attractions housed in them.

Make no mistake about it, this is not a thrill ride in any way, shape, or form.  You go on this ride to relax and see Tomorrowland from up above everyone else.  There are some interesting bits like a glimpse at early concept art for EPCOT and Space Mountain.  But mostly you are looking at the outsides of buildings or special windows into the buildings you travel through.

As a result, many people pass on this ride.  They would rather spend those 10 minutes doing something more exciting.  Personally, I find this kind of ride perfect for late in the afternoon when you need to sit down and relax.  You can rest and recharge while still being entertained.

Because this isn’t a popular attraction, there is hardly ever a wait.  Even if there is, you are always moving because cars are always coming back to the station and leaving again.  I doubt you’ll have to wait more than 5 minutes for this one.

This is not a way to duck out of the weather, however.  While the track is covered, you are outside for much of the ride, so you will still feel the heat, humidity, rain, etc. that is happening that day.

But if you need a few minutes to relax a little and what to spend it seeing a different side of the park, be sure to check out the underappreciated Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMovers.

Walt Disney World Review: Beauty and the Beast - Live on Stage

Stars: 2 out of 5

Pros: Looks good.  Includes the classic songs.

Cons: Pretty much just the songs with no thought to the story.

The Bottom Line: 

Disappointing show

Tries to tell story through songs

But just appears cheap

Great Costumes?  Check.  The Classic Songs?  Check.  Story?  Um....

My favorite movie is Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.  The animation is beautiful and all the characters are endearing.  When they made it into a Broadway show, I had to see it.  And when I went to Disney World a few years back, I made seeing Beauty and the Beast – Live on Stage a priority.  I shouldn’t have.

The show is located in an outdoor theater near the far end of Sunset Boulevard in the shadow of Tower of Terror.  The show only runs a few times a day, so you’ll need to check show times when you are there.  There is no separate admission, although you might have to camp out early to get good seats in the 1500 seat theater.  Fortunately when I was there, I didn’t have any trouble getting a seat.

Then again, maybe that should have been my first clue.

This production opened back in 1991, the same day the movie opened in theaters.  In all that time, they haven’t done anything to try update it.  Now I’m not going to complain about the costumes.  They are elaborate and big and everyone looks like their movie counterpart.  Since so many of the characters don’t have working mouths, they actually use the voice talent from the movie and just have the “actors” on stage bob when their character is speaking or singing.

Speaking of singing, the show is 25 minutes in length and includes 5 songs from the show.  Are you beginning to see a problem with the “story?”  If you haven’t seen the movie, you’ll probably be confused.  There is a narrator who summarizes the action from song to song.  Even then, they get some events out of order, making it annoying for those of us who know and love the movie, which at this point would be pretty much anyone who goes to see it.  Maybe it would have worked 20 years ago, but today it’s just going to annoy those of us who have watched the movie more times than we can count.

Again, I’m not going to say the choreography isn’t good.  It’s fun and inventive, especially since so many of the characters are in oversized costumes.

I’ve seen many of the live action shows in Disney parks over the years.  I get that they have to condense the story into a short time and have more of a limited budget.  But this feels amateurish and low budget to me.

Then again, maybe the fact that I’ve seen the Broadway version was part of the problem.  I know this story can be done much better on stage.  Plus, I love the Aladdin show at the Hyperion Theater in California Adventure, which is Broadway caliber theater and does a good job of telling that story in 45 minutes.  This fails on every level.

I am willing to forgive it a tad since it does include the songs from Beauty and the Beast, and they are fun.  “Be Our Guest” is the show stopping highlight as you would expect.

But that is hardly enough to recommend spending much time to see Beauty on the Beast – Live on Stage.  It is in desperate need of some attention to make it a show worth seeing.

Walt Disney World Review: Stitch's Great Escape

Stars: 1 out of 5
Pros: Um, um, um....

Cons: Not remotely fun for anyone at all.  Ever.

The Bottom Line:

A bad attraction

I refuse to ride again

Stitch can escape.  Please

You'll be Happy to Escape from Stitch's (Not So) Great Escape

I arrived in Orlando late morning after taking a red eye flight.  After quickly dropping my stuff off at my hotel, I headed straight to the Magic Kingdom, figuring my familiarity with Disneyland would help me navigate the park in my mostly tired state.  I had some friends I was planning to meet up with, but I had about a half an hour to kill before they arrived.  So I figured I'd start off with Stitch's Great Escape.  After all, it was an attraction I wasn't familiar with already.  Fortunately, it wasn't an indication of how the week would go.

This attraction (and I use the term loosely) is located just inside the Tomorrowland section of the park.  There was no wait when I was there, but it does offer a Fast Pass, a ticket you can use to come back for a shorter wait during a pre-set time.

Since this isn't a traditional ride, you move into the attraction in groups.  I caught the first group after I started waiting.  The show is built around characters from the movie Lilo and Stitch but takes place before the film.

As we enter the pre-show area, we find out that we are new guards for an inter-planetary prison system.  A couple aliens start giving us our orientation, showing us some Level 1 and 2 prisoners.  You know, minor offenses like jay walking.  Frankly, I enjoyed this part of the show.  It had some funny jokes and was lighthearted.  But then we get a real privilege, a Level 3 prisoner is being transported to the facility.  This will be perfect for our training.

And it's at this point we enter the main theater for the real show.  Everyone takes seats in the circular theater.  Since we aren't full guards yet, we need safety restraints to protect us from the dangerous alien.  These restraints are rather serious business for a ride that doesn't actually move.  They come and rest on your shoulder rather firmly.  There is a shield in front of your face and all around your head.  My guess is this is the only reason for the 40 inch height restriction.  Trust me, nothing moves in a dangerous way.

Speaking of danger, once everyone is situated, they finally teleport the Level 3 prisoner into the room.  No surprise, it is a large, animatronic Stitch.  He's very well done and moves convincingly.

Unfortunately, he's also the rebellious Stitch from the beginning of the film.  He manages to escape and begins terrorizing us.  He spits at us.  He burps right in our faces, letting us smell the chilly cheese on his breath.  He hops around the room, pushing down on our restraints as he does so.  Finally, he is captured again, and the true captives, us, are allowed to go.

This attraction is loud, and the restraints are positioned such that it makes you feel cut off from the center of the room.  It's hard to follow the story exactly.  The only thing you truly know is when something happens to you.  Speaking of which, those restraints are what they use to make you feel like part of the action.

If you suffer from claustrophobia or the fear of the dark, this isn't for you.  You don't have much wiggly room in your restraint, and large parts of the show take place in the dark.  Frankly, the other reason for the height restriction might just be to keep young kids out.  It will scare them.  Heck, I didn't feel completely comfortable with it.

I attempted to do anything we don't have in California at least twice while I was at Walt Disney World.  This was one I gladly gave up.  You are missing absolutely nothing if you wisely pass on Stitch's Great Escape.

Walt Disney World Review: Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin

Stars: 4 out of 5
Pros: Fun target practice game that all ages will enjoy again and again

Cons: Guns bolted to the ride vehicles

The Bottom Line:

Space target practice

A bit hard with bolted guns

But still a fun trip

Zurg Tries to Take Over the Galaxy.  Can You Stop Him?

Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin is a great example of Disney ingenuity.  It takes a couple characters from the popular Toy Story movies and creates a completely interacting attraction that is changeling enough to be enjoyed on multiple visits to Disney World.  You'll quickly become hooked.

Located in the Tomorrowland area of the Magic Kingdom, it's behind the Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor and across from the Carousel of Progress.  The entire waiting area and attraction are indoors, so it is a little hard to judge the line for yourself.  Of course, Disney is fairly good about keeping their wait time signs updated.  The line wasn't long at all when I was there, but if it appears to be too long for you, you can always grab a Fast Pass and come back later in the day to join a shorter line.

The premise of the attraction is simple.  The Evil Emperor Zurg has stolen power supplies to build a weapon and take over the galaxy.  Your mission as a new space cadet is to help Buzz Lightyear stop him.  To aid in this, you will enter crafts and head across the galaxy shooting at targets with Z's on them.  Before you are done, you and Buzz (and several other rides) will face off against Zurg himself.

The crafts are really open two person carts.  You could squeeze three small people into the cart, but you don't want to.  See, each cart contains two laser guns you use to hit the targets.  The third person would just sit there and ride through without shooting.  And the shooting is all the fun.  Each cart also comes with a joystick in the middle that can be used to more easily position the front of the car to hit targets.  Depending on how mean you are, you can ruin your neighbor's shots.

The carts are always in motion, so you'll board and exit onto moving sidewalks.  There are always people around you in the attraction, but it really doesn't matter here.

The ride itself is like one of Disney's dark rides.  All is dark except the figures that are black lit.  While most of these rides tell a story, this one doesn't.  It can be rather loud at times.  Couple that with the fact that there are targets everywhere, and you'll find yourself overwhelmed on the first trip or two through.  But once you get used to it, you'll be fine.

As you go through, you'll see some targets light up.  That's when you really want to shoot because they are worth more.  Some are stationary and some move.  Depending on when and where you hit them, they are worth different points.  Your score appears on your vehicle in front of you and at the end, they give you a ranking based on your level of points.

The ride is fun for all ages, and it has no height restriction.  I've been surprised at just how quickly adults get addicted to it and want to ride it again to improve their score.  Everyone has a smile on their face when they leave.

My only complaint about this version of the ride is the guns.  They are bolted to the ride vehicles, limiting their range of motion.  You do get plenty of swivel.  When this ride was transported to Disneyland, however, they just tied the guns to the carts with a chord, giving you much greater freedom.  That was a big adjustment for me.

That's my only complaint on the ride, however.  The revisit value on Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin is quite high.  Disney truly has a winner here.

Walt Disney World Review: Pirates of the Caribbean

Stars: 3 out of 5
Pros: What's here is good

Cons: Missing too much from the original

The Bottom Line:

Only half the ride

And that is rarely the case

But the first is best

Maybe Marauding Pirates Stole the Other Half of This Ride

Being the life long Disney fan that I am, I couldn't wait to visit Disney World.  Yes, part of it was to experience all the rides they don't have at Disneyland.  But another part of me wanted to see how the rides I already knew and loved compared.  I must say that most of the time, the Disney World version was slightly better.  An added scene or slightly different order made things better.  Not so with Pirates of the Caribbean.  For some unknown reason, the ride was shortened considerably, making it less than the original.

This ride was updated in 2006 to include some characters from the movie version of this franchise.  I must admit I am not completely thrilled with the changes, but they work for the most part.  That is the version of the ride I will be talking about here.

The ride is located in the Adventureland section of the Magic Kingdom just past the entrance to the Jungle Cruise.  It doesn't look like much from the outside, but the line can wander around quite a bit inside before reaching the boats you ride in.  When I was there, I was able to walk on both times I went on this attraction.

The boats hold quite a few people.  They are wide enough to accommodate 4 adults per row and contain 6 or so rows each.  Only if you have a large party will you have a boat to yourself.

Once you are off, you float under a rather cool effect.  Davy Jones' face is projected onto a screen of mist.  As you float through it, he warns you that the waters ahead are full of danger and pirates.  From there, you see a couple of skeletons and a boat fighting a bad storm before you drop down a small, six foot hill.  You might get a few drops of water on you here, but not enough to complain about.

On this lower level is where the main show takes place.  We wander through a town being attacked and pillaged by pirates.  They start by shelling the town, then threatening the citizens and auctioning off the women before setting the whole place on fire.

Now it used to be that the pirates attacked purely for some kind of hidden treasure.  But during the 2006 update, they gave the pirates another motive.  In the scene where the boat is attacking the walls of the city, Captain Barbossa now stands on the ship demanding the citizens give them Captain Jack Sparrow if they want to stop the attack.  As we float through the rest of the scenes, we see Jack a couple times sneaking around town trying to get his hands on the treasure.  And as we are waiting to get off the boats, we see Jack sitting with his treasure.

Don't get me wrong, what is here is quite fun.  The scene of the pirates shelling the city includes air and water canons to make us feel like we are part of the attack.  In one of my favorite illusions, we float through the city on fire.  After all the times I've been on the ride, I still get fooled by the illusion at first glimpse.

So what's wrong?  Half the ride is missing.  The Disneyland version includes scenes of hidden pirate treasure and pirates fighting over our heads at the end.  Plus there are two bigger drops instead of just one.  And when I say half the ride is missing, I do mean it.  This version clocks in at 8 and a half minutes while in California, you can enjoy sailing with pirates for sixteen and a half minutes.

The one drop that the Disney World version has is very mild.  It doesn't drop far and it isn't very steep.  Young kids might be frightened by some of the scenes along the way, and once you are in the boat, there is no turning back.  But one they are old enough to know it is all fake, they'll enjoy it, too.

Given how much I enjoy Pirates of the Caribbean normally, I was really looking forward to this ride.  But the Disney World cuts out too much to give it my whole hearted recommendation.  If this is your first trip through the attraction, you'll enjoy it.  But if you are used to the longer rides, you probably won't.

Walt Disney World Review: Splash Mountain

Stars: 5 out of 5
Pros: Fun story and huge drop

Cons: None

The Bottom Line:

Amusement staple

Filled with animatronics

And coherent tale

A Coherent Story Gives the Disney World Version of Splash Mountain the Edge

One of the things I enjoyed most about my first trip to Disney World was riding the rides I knew well from Disneyland and looking for the differences.  Sometimes, the Florida version of the ride came out ahead, and sometimes my old favorite at Disneyland was the clear winner.  As much as I love the original Splash Mountain, the version at Disney World, which opened three years later, is the clear winner.

This ride is located in the Frontierland area of the Magic Kingdom.  Since it is one of the mountain rides, you can't miss it.  You can see the peak and hear the delighted screams of its victims from quite a ways away.  The entrance is near the entrance to Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, another fun ride that will thrill guests.

Splash Mountain is your typical flume ride that is a staple of many amusement parks, but with a Disney twist.  As a result of the ride's thrilling final drop, there is a height requirement of 40 inches.  And it can make the lines quite long.  I was there in late September, and the line was never more than a few minutes.  But if the line is longer than you are willing to wait, you can get a Fast Pass, which reserves a place for you in a shorter line later in the same day, go enjoy something else, and come back to a much shorter wait.

Once you've made it to the front of the line, you'll board a boat designed for eight people.  These fiberglass "logs" have four rows, sitting two across.  Right there is a difference over the original.  Not sure if it is better or not, but there it is.

You start out floating around outside the mountain looking at some scenes that get you in the mood for the adventure ahead.

Once you take the first plunge, you are inside the mountain.  You float through several rooms as animatronics characters tell you a story from Disney's Song of the South.  And that's where the differences between this version and the original really stand out.  My only complaint with the Disneyland version is the incoherence of the story.  Here, it is very obvious what is happening.  Brer Rabbit has decided to leave his home in the briar patch to see the rest of the world.  But once he leaves, he runs afoul of Brer Bear and Brer Fox who are looking for lunch.  Can he out smart them and make it home safely?

As I said, you merrily float along watching this story unfold.  You get to hear some fun songs along the way, including "Everybody Has a Laughing Place" and the famous "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah."

But as Brer Rabbit's story grows desperate, we reach the foot of the mountain.  After a climb, we plunge over the top of a five story fall.  If you look quick, you get a great shot of the Magic Kingdom.  But smile quick because they take your picture.

But this isn't the final drop in the ride.  Granted, the last drop is more like a foot drop at a much smaller angle, meaning there is nothing to be afraid of.  Still, the group of friends I was with did trick somebody at the back of the boat into thinking it was bigger than it was.

There are signs all around warning that you will get wet.  And that is certainly true.  I didn't get soaking wet either of the times I rode it, but you certainly will want to make sure your electronics and anything else you don't want ruined are hiding in a backpack or other place where they won't get wet.

All told, the ride is in the 10 minute range, so you get your wait time worth.  It feels like it is over all too soon, however.

I love the Disneyland version of Splash Mountain so much, nothing will diminish that.  But if I had a choice, I really do with the story were more coherent like the version here at Disney World.

Walt Disney World Review: Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith

Stars: 5 out of 5
Pros: Smooth indoor coaster with plenty of thrills

Cons: Long lines

The Bottom Line:

Loop around the road

With an Aerosmith soundtrack

Plenty of great thrills

Come On, the LA Freeways Aren't Quite This Crazy (Or Fun)

Most people don't head to a Disney theme park for the thrill rides.  I know I sure don't.  Yet Disney has tried to put in a few over the years to broaden their appeal.  Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith is one such attempt.  And it succeeds in spades.

As with most of the thrill type rides, the line for this one can get quite long.  It was over an hour every time I walked by when I was there in late September, and most of the other lines in all the parks were short.  To help combat that, you can take advantage of the FAST PASS system, which lets you reserve a place in a shorter line during a specific period later in the day.  If you don't mind splitting up with your party, you can also use the much shorter single rider line.

As with all roller coasters, there are signs warning you not to ride if your health won't let you.  This one also has a 48 inch height requirement to enjoy.

This particular ride is located in the Hollywood Studios part at Disney World.  Specifically, it is at the end of the Sunset Boulevard section of the park right next to another great thrill ride, the Tower of Terror.  It's also near the theater used for Fantasmic.  You really can't miss it.  It's the big building with a giant guitar outside.

Once you reach the front of the line, you enter a pre-show room.  And you are just in time to catch Aerosmith recording a song in the studio at G-Force records in Los Angeles.  Just as you get in, however, their manager reminds them they need to leave for a concert across town.  But they don't want to disappoint you, so they offer backstage passes and have the manager call for a limo, um better make that a super stretch limo, to take you there.

At this point, you enter the final boarding line.  24 people are seated two to a row in each roller coast car, which is made to vaguely resemble a limo.  When you are seated, strap yourself in with the lap and shoulder bars and get ready to take off on your trip across town for the concert.

This ride launches you right out of the gate, going from 0 to 60 in about 3 seconds.  The entire ride takes place indoor and in the dark.  The only things you see are black light signs that reference various freeways and landmarks in Los Angeles.  As a LA resident, I loved seeing these signs of home.  Not that we ever get to drive that fast on our freeways thanks to traffic.  Although if they think our freeways are truly this crazy, they've got another think coming.

See, this ride includes loops and corkscrews along the way.  You go upside down a total of three times during the minute and a half of the ride.  Additionally, you've got twists, turns, and drops.

What amazes me is how truly smooth the ride is.  I worried a little about going on a ride this intense in the dark because I hate banging my head against the sides of my seat.  I never had that problem here.  Instead, it was a fun, fast ride.

Along the way, you get to listen to the music of Aerosmith.  I'm not a big fan (I couldn't even tell you what songs were played), but I enjoyed the music as I rode.  And this proves you don't have to be an Aerosmith fan to enjoy it.

As you exit the ride, you get to walk the red carpet to attend the concert.  Okay, so really it's a gift shop.  A souvenir picture taken at the launch is yours for the buying, as well as all kinds of Aerosmith and Rock 'n' Roller Coaster themed merchandise.

If you need some thrills at your Disney vacation, Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith is the way to do it.  You'll want to go on it as many times as the long lines (and the rest of your party) will allow.

Walt Disney World Review: The American Adventure

Stars: 5 out of 5

Pros: Fun and moving tribute to America with great animatronics

Cons: None

The Bottom Line:

History alive

With animatronic magic

Must do Epcot stop

Disney's Tribute to the American Spirit is an Adventure Only They Can Do

My biggest regret about my trip to Disney World is short changing EPCOT.  There was just so much to see and do, I wound up spending less time there than I should have.  That caught up with me on Friday night.  With only one day left, I was desperately trying to get in all the attractions in the World Showcase part of the park.  That was my state of mind when I entered the theater for American Adventure.  I immediately fell in love and took the time to do it again the next day.

This show is housed in the World Showcase part of EPCOT.  The American portion is located in the center, so it is pretty much as far around the lake as you can get.  You really can't miss the building.  It's is a giant Colonial building made to look like something from Williamsburg or old Philadelphia.

Now learn from my mistake.  Get to the theater before show time.  No, I'm not saying this because of crowds.  Two different musical groups put on shows before performances.  Some days, it is Voices of Liberty, an a cappella choir.  Other days, it is Hometown Jamboree, a folk music band.  Check and see who is playing and try to show up in time to see them.  You can also take the time to look around the lobby of the building at the quotes from famous Americans, flags from our history, and other such exhibits.

But if you are like me and show up right at show time, not to worry.  The theater is huge.  I would imagine only on the most crowded days would you have any problem getting a seat for the very next show.

The show itself starts every 45 minutes and is a combination of movie and animatronics.  The movie is projected on a screen, while the animatronics rise out of the floor.  Honestly, the stage seems huge by the time they are done.

Our hosts for this trip back in time are Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain.  What follows is a look at our history from the early settlers through the Revolutionary War and exploration to the Civil War and Women's Suffrage movement.

No, history is not sugar coated.  You get the good and the bad equally.  Yet, the show is also a tribute to the hard work, determination, and spirit that has made our country great.  I dare you to leave this show without pride in our country.

Helping that along is the beautiful score.  Recorded by the Philadelphia Symphony Orchestra, it combines patriotic songs with background music that brings out the emotions of each stop in history.

The show focuses on the time through the early 20th Century.  The time after that is represented in a montage of photos and videos highlighting more modern heroes.  And yes, they have updated it recently to include shots from September 11th.

The animatronics in the show are mostly impressive.  Maybe it's the increased distance compared to other attractions, but they aren't as obviously robotic.  Heck, one even climbs some stairs.  However, a few moments are obviously mechanical.  If you can't accept animatronics, don't bother.  (Then again, if you have a problem with animatronics, what are you doing at a Disney park anyway?  That's their bread and butter.)

As a Disney geek, I got excited during the Civil War segment.  They have a song about two brothers and with a series of pictures show what happens to this family divided by the ideals of the war.  The song and pictures used to be part of the Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln attraction at Disneyland, and I missed it when they took it out.  It moved me as a pre-teen, and it did so again as an adult.  I was glad to get to see it again.

Both times I watched this show, it ended much too soon.  If I am ever lucky enough to make it back to Disney World, I will allow ample time to watch American Adventure multiple times.  Considering how much Walt Disney loved his country, I am sure he would be proud of it.  I truly wish they had this show at Disneyland.

Walt Disney World Review: Typhoon Lagoon Water Park

Stars: 5 out of 5
Pros: Shark Reef; water slide roller coasters; plus lots of normal water park fun

Cons: I love water parks, so none for me.

The Bottom Line:

Typhoon comes in and

Leaves behind fun water park

Unique attractions

The Aftermath of a Typhoon Has Never Been This Fun

I knew my trip to Disney World was a trip I couldn't redo on a regular basis (fortunately, I live an hour from Disneyland), so I decided to try to cram as much as I could into that one week.  I decided I only had time for one water park, and ultimately settled on Typhoon Lagoon.  There were several factors involved in the decision including a couple of attractions this park had the other didn't.  Plus, some of the friends I went with wanted to go to this park and had no interest in the other one.  We all had a great time.

Since this is Disney, they can't just have a water park.  It must have a theme.  In this case, the park is decorated as if a tropical island has been hit by a typhoon.  In between the trees, you see ships scattered about.  And the signature shot of the park is a boat stranded on top of a volcano.

The heart and soul of the park is still water slides and other water fun.  In this regard, the park is no different than any other water park I've been to.  And I'm not saying that as a bad thing.  I had a great time.

When we first arrived, we rented a big locker.  Four of us were able to put all our stuff in the one locker.  The cost was $7 for the day with a $2 refund when we returned the key.  And it was one of those you could access as much as you wanted that day.  You could also rent towels, but I chose to bring an extra from my hotel.  (Don't worry, I returned it that night.)

Our first stop was the wave pool.  I was actually looking forward to this for one very silly reason.  It has real waves.  Every minute or so, it creates a wave like you would have in the ocean.  And these are big, powerful waves.  If you aren't paying attention, they can knock you down - trust me.  However, if you stay in the shallow water or watch the waves, you can brace yourself and not get knocked over.  The waves are big enough to body surf, although there were enough people in the pool I'm not sure you could do so safely.  And we were there on an uncrowded day.  The other guy in the group and I swam out to the deep end (8 feet) and back a couple of times, which was a fun challenge.  They do rotate the beach waves with the more traditional wave pool waves (what I call storm waves).

This pool is surrounded by sand, but I am impressed with how clean the water was.  I thought it would be cloudy with sand, but it wasn't.  The bottom was a little rough, and I got a slight scrape one time when I was floating on a wave.

From there, we hit the Castaway Creek.  Basically, this is an endless river.  Jets from the side keep you moving forward as you float along on park provided inner tubes.  (Disney is the first park I've seen that doesn't make you pay for the use of tubes all day.)  This river is gentle enough that anyone can enjoy it.  But that's doesn't mean it is always boring.  There are some spots where water sprays on half the river.  We had fun trying to stay dry while getting others wet at these parts.  In fact, at one point I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe.  Who says you need tons of high tech stuff to have a good time.  There are multiple entrances and exits, so you can use the creek to get from one side of the park to the other or spend twenty minutes just floating all the way around.

Since I was with a group that didn't have any kids, we only walked past the kiddie area.  Ketchakidee Creek is designed for those under 48 inches and includes a miniature slide and some things to climb around on while shooting water at each other or parents.  I was a little jealous.  What I saw looked like fun.

From there, we worked our way around the park hitting all the slides.  We all fit into the big family tube for Gangplank Falls.  Keelhaul Falls require the use of an inner tube (again, Disney provides), while Storm Slides are curving body slides.  You don't get going too fast on any of these, and I had a blast going on them.

And I even got talked into going on the speed slides.  Called Humunga Kowabunga, these slides require you to be over 48 inches.  There are three slides next to each other, so you can race a friend or two.  These are not the extreme slides you'll see at other parks.  In fact, I would call them more racing slides than true speed slides.  That doesn't mean you can't get going pretty quickly on them, just don't expect extreme speeds.

But we have yet to get to the two features that were the biggest selling points to me.  First up is the Shark Reef.  Yes, you can actually swim with sharks.  They provide mask and snorkel for you before you swim one way over a reef with some more docile sharks and other fish in it.  Honestly, this sounds slightly cooler than it is.  You must swim one direction in a straight line and can't dive down.  The cold salt water is deep enough the sharks aren't that close to you.  It was over much too quickly, but it was also very cool.

The other selling point was Crush 'n' Gusher, aka the rollercoaster water slide.  Again, you have to be over 48 inches to enjoy them.  You board tubes designed for two or three people and go up and downhill at fast speeds before crashing into the water below.  The jets really do propel you quickly up the inclines.  I just had to do these, and I loved them.  In fact, I wish we had more time to do them more.

I was there the last week of September, and there were hardly any crowds.  In fact, my biggest complaint about the park is that the walkways to get to the top of the slides were so long.  Often, they'd go up and down steps and over land before finally climbing to the top.  I'm sure in the summer, these are full of guests waiting to ride.  But all they did was keep me from getting to the top.  Impatient, aren't I?

As with any water park, there are lounge chairs scattered all over the place.  Honestly, I go to a water park to ride the slides and get wet.  I can read or nap by a pool at home.

I was so busy having fun, I also never stopped for food.  They do have a few places you can get something to eat, like sandwiches, burgers, hot dogs, soda, and ice cream.

If I am every lucky enough to return to Disney World, a trip to a water park will be a must.  I think I would lean toward the other one just because I haven't been to it yet.  But if it is closed, returning to Typhoon Lagoon would be an absolute pleasure.

Walt Disney World Review: Walt Disney - One Man's Dream

Stars: 5 out of 5
Pros: A look at Disney's life with some rare artifacts any fan will need to see.

Cons: None for me, but those not interested in Disney will find it boring.

The Bottom Line:

Take a few minutes

And learn about the man who

Created magic

Any Disney Fan Will Want to Visit This Museum in a Theme Park

As you might have figured out by now if you have perused many of my reviews, I am something of a Disney fan.  (I know, I know, and the Pope is slightly Catholic.)  I love the movies.  I love the parks.  And that deep love extends to Walt Disney himself.  I don't care how many times I hear about his life, I lap it all up again.  That's why I made Walt Disney: One Man's Dream a stop when I was in Hollywood Studios.

Frankly, I wasn't sure what to expect.  It's a small, unassuming entrance in the Animation Courtyard.  It originally opened in 2001 as part of the celebration of Walt Disney's 100th birthday.  Turns out it is a decent celebration of the man who founded my favorite company.

The first part is your standard museum.  There are exhibits on Walt's early life from his birth in Chicago to his early life in Marcelline, Missouri and eventual move to Hollywood.  These are presented in standard museum like displays covering both walls of a hallway.

Here's the part that shows a little extra thought.  Many of Walt's biggest accomplishments came from years of influence and work.  There are several displays that help tell the story of Snow White or Disneyland, for example, spread out over the museum.  These exhibits are all labeled accordingly, so you can look for the color coordinated plaques to follow the story.

But this isn't just pictures.  The exhibit also features memorabilia and props from Disney's life.  For example, the special Oscar Walt won for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is on display.  I had to stop and stare at the multiplane camera for a while.  This huge innovention in the early days of animation is something I have heard about all my life.  (I mentioned the Disney nut part, right?)  To actually see it was a thrill.  They had Disney's office brought out from California and recreated at one point.

All along the way, there are new recordings of Walt talking about the various events of his life.  While these recordings haven't been released to the public before, there was very little in them that was a true surprise to me.

Toward the end, they have cut outs of Walt with recordings recreating the famous TV broadcast where he first gave his ideas for EPCOT.  There's another one of his brother Roy dedicating Walt Disney World.

Once you've reached the final room, there are models on display from the various theme parks.  There's a model of Main Street from Disneyland, the castles from Disneyland, Disney World, and EuroDisney, Grizzly Mountain from California Adventure, and the Tree of Life from Animal Kingdom.  But my favorite of these was the model of the Peter Pan attraction.  I loved getting glimpse of the planning for a favorite ride.  These exhibits rotate in and out, so it's worth it to see what they are showing every time you visit.

The final part of this museum is a 15 minute video.  Narrated by Julie Andrews, it gives a brief biography of Walt Disney that provides us with an overview of his life, focusing on some of the hardships he had to overcome to reach his dreams.  Yes, you've already learned much of the information in the museum, but the use of videos and new pictures makes it feel different.  And it is inspiring.  I walked out ready to take on the world to make my dreams come true.

A draw to this attraction for the non-fan is the fact that it is entirely contained in an air conditioned building.  What could be better during the summer heat?

I will admit, I can imagine how tough a sell this would be for the non-Disney fan.  Go to a museum while there are thrill rides and shows to enjoy?  For me, that wasn't an issue.  I could have gladly spent at least another half hour there, but I had to go meet friends for dinner.  But if you are in a group, you may need to allow for the impatient.

The attraction is completely accessible to all.  The one part with stairs also has a ramp.  Their translation service is available.  And there are a couple of different options for the hard of hearing.

I really wish there was something like Walt Disney: One Man's Dream at the California parks.  I'd make it a regular part of my trips.  As it is, if I ever make it back to Hollywood Studios, I will plan more time to enjoy this wonderful hidden gem.

Walt Disney World Review: Kilimanjaro Safaris

Stars: 5 out of 5
Pros: A decent sized trip through Africa with many of their animals on display

Cons: If the animals aren't out, it won't be very fun.

The Bottom Line:

Ride through Africa

Without leaving Florida

It's the next best thing

A Two Week Tour Through the Harambe Animal Preserve?  Sign Me Up!

Okay, true, on my first trip to Disney World, I wanted to do everything.  But one of my absolute must do's was Kilimanjaro Safaris in the Animal Kingdom park.  It was well worth a visit to the Animal Kingdom all by itself.

I, along with many others, consider this the signature ride of Animal Kingdom.  As a result, the lines can get long quickly.  My friends and I went to the park on the day resort guests got early admission.  We went straight to this ride arriving about half an hour after resort opening and half an hour before the true opening.  We still had a half hour wait.  By the time we got off, the wait was much longer, closer to an hour long.  The good news is this ride employs the Fastpass system which lets you reserve a place in a shorter line during a specific time period.  While I never watched it that closely, my guess is it goes pretty quickly.

The ride is located in the Africa section of the park in the far left corner, almost as far from the main gate as you can get.  The lines weaves you through the offices of a safari company.  When your turn comes, you board large jeeps that seat roughly 30 people.  Then it's off for your two week adventure through the Harambe Animal Preserve.  (So the ride is really only twenty to thirty minutes.  But that's the premise.)

The folks at Disney have done an amazing job with the setting for this ride.  It looks and feels like you really are in the middle of the pride lands of Africa and not the swamp lands of Florida.  There are big fields of grass and small ponds of water.  Okay, so some native Florida wildlife has come all the way to Africa to settle, but my tour guide played that for laughs.

Also amazing is the lack of enclosures.  Oh, I'm sure they are there, but I'll be darned if I could see them.  It looked for all the world like you and the animals were right next to each other.

And the animals!  At times they were coming too fast to see.  The guide attempts to point them out to you as you go, but it can be quite hard.  In fact, this was one of my only frustrations with the ride.  Because some of the animals really can come up to the path, the guide must keep the vehicle moving at all times.  As a result, it gets pretty tricky trying to see everything there is to see.  I tried too hard to get pictures of everything along the way.  I highly recommend you only take one or two pictures and spend the rest of the time just enjoying the experience.

So, what can you expect to see?  I was lucky enough to see okapi, bongos, giraffes, zebras, hippos, warthogs, and lions.  Depending on time of day and animal activity, they do have ostriches (I saw plenty of eggs), rhinos, hippos, and who knows what all else.

Speaking of animal activity, that's another reason why I went on this first thing in the morning.  Rumor has it that the animals are more active earlier in the day.  I was only able to go on the ride once, but I saw lots of animals.

I've mentioned the guide a couple of times.  In truth, he's also our driver.  Unlike any other ride at Disney, this ride doesn't run on a track of any kind.  True, there's an obvious path that the jeep follows, but your driver determines how fast or slow you go.

As the ride progresses, we learn via the radio that poachers have been spotted in the park.  They are trying to find the new baby elephant.  We are asked to keep our eyes open and the ride ends with a chase to capture them.  This aspect of the ride is a little cheesy and you honestly don't need it.  But it's a mild irritant.  As I mentioned, the ride itself is around 20 minutes long and this part takes up two or three minutes.

Really, the ride is a four wheel drive type of experience.  It can get a tad, um, bumpy.  But I only think it would be a problem for someone with severe pain.  Again, the bumps don't last too long.

Probably my biggest regret about my week at Disney World is that I didn't make the time to ride Kilimanjaro Safaris a second time.  This attraction is more like something from the San Diego Wild Animal Park than a Disney theme park.  And in this case, that isn't a bad thing at all.

Walt Disney World Review: Expedition Everest

Stars: 5 out of 5

Pros: Fun thrills with great themeing

Cons: Can have long lines (but worth a visit anyway)

The Bottom Line:

Roller coaster thrills

Themeing takes you to Asia

Gets your heart pumping

Nothing Abominable About This Yeti Good Ride

Animal Kingdom, the newest theme park at Disney World in Florida, is in many ways a glorified zoo.  The main focus of the park seems to be on the animal side of things.  But, being Disney, they have to include some fun rides as well.  There are several thrill type rides, one of which was closed when I was there in September of 2008.  Expedition Everest - Legend of the Forbidden Mountain was open, however.  And I loved it.

Expedition Everest is located in the Asia section of the theme park.  Since it is another mountain ride, you really can't miss it.  Just look for the white, snow capped peaks and listen for the screams of delight from the riders.  This is most definitely a roller coaster ride, and you must be at least 44 inches tall to ride.

The line sets up the story for you as you wander from a village through a tour office filled with artifacts about the Yeti.  Finally, it is your turn to board in groups of two.

Your car ascends to the top of the mountain and starts to speed through the mountain until you hit a dead end.  And that's when the fun really starts.  Suddenly, you are moving backward through the dark at up to 40 miles an hour.  You do actually go faster going forward (50 miles an hour), but being in the dark makes it seem faster.  In fact, the friends I rode it with were convinced you actually went upside down while going backward.  I've got to admit, it feels like you do even though you don't.  Which isn't a surprise since the restraint system is only an individual lap bar.

Anyway, when your car stops going backward, you see an animated shadow of the Yeti rip up the track you were just on.  But as that is sinking in, you start racing forward again, around and around the mountain trying to get away.  And just when you think you have, a giant arm reaches out for your car.  Can you escape?

I do love a good roller coaster, something Disney is not known for.  And maybe that is partially why I loved this ride so much.  And, of course, there's the themeing that Disney is famous for.  I went back and rode the ride several times in a row one morning, which allowed me to take in the incredible detail on the mountain and in the caves.  You truly do feel like you are in the Himalayas and no longer in Florida.

The ride is advertised as a family coaster, provided, of course, that your family meets the 44 inch height requirement.  While there really is nothing popping out at you, one drop and the backwards segment are fairly intense.  If your kid has just met the height requirement, you'll have to judge for yourself if you think they'd enjoy it.  The friends I went on it with the first day, all of them adults, didn't enjoy it.  And this includes a friend who loves other Disney coasters.

This ride is nothing like the Matterhorn coaster at Disneyland.  The only similarity is the Abominable Snowman/Yeti theme.  I saw that only to bring up the thing I found the funniest about the attraction.  The trading pins they sell are almost all identical to the pins they sell in California for the Matterhorn.  It was actually rather hard to find a pin I liked that I couldn't get here, but I did manage to do it.

When I was there in September, the waits were never too bad.  I can see how this ride would be extremely popular in peak times, however.  There is a Fast Pass option, which will save you considerable wait time.  They also have a single rider option.  You won't get to ride with your group, but you can get on the ride much faster.

Expedition Everest will never make the list of top roller coasters.  But it is a fun ride with thrills that is well worth a wait.

Walt Disney World Review: The Great Movie Ride

Stars: 3 out of 5

Pros: A few fun interacting movements, famous scenes from famous movies recreated

Cons: Some guides not up to the part; average animatronics

The Bottom Line:

Guides make difference

Not as good as expected

But worth doing once

The Average Movie Ride

Before I went to Disney World in 2008, I had a friend tell me that he always starts a day at Hollywood Studios with a trip through The Great Movie Ride to get himself in the mood for the day.  While I didn't quite do that (it was lunch time after all), I did make a point of riding the attraction early on my first day in the park.  Considering this is Disney, I enjoyed it but I wasn't blown away.

                          

This ride is easy to find.  As you walk into the park, just go straight past the giant Sorcerer's Hat that is the symbol of the park.  There, you'll find a replica of Mann's Chinese Theater from Los Angeles, complete with hand and foot prints in the cement out front.  And that's where the ride is located.

If the line is long, you'll wind through two rooms.  The first room has props from various movies.  I didn't get to spend much time there, but I did see one of the carousel horses from Mary Poppins and the fur coats the kids wore in the first Narnia movie.  The second room plays teasers for famous movies on a giant screen.  You'll see clips from Alien, Casablanca, Fantasia, and Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Honestly, they could use a few more clips.  I think I saw them about three times through before boarding the ride car.

When you leave that room, you are ushered onto a giant tram.  There are two cars hooked together, and each one seats roughly 40 people.  As you are boarding, your guide introduces him or herself and then you are off.

While never leaving the air conditioned building, you visit the sets of many famous movies covering most genres.  What surprised me is how few Disney movies are represented.  I haven't done the research, but I have a feeling this attraction, an original from opening day in 1989, is still highly influenced by the original MGM connection.  I bet that most of these movies are MGM properties.  Anyway, you do get to see a scene from Disney movies Mary Poppins and Fantasia as well as non-Disney Singin' in the Rain, Casablanca, Raiders of the Lost Ark, the original live action Tarzan and Alien.  (Getting the connection between the movie clips and the ride?)

Along the way, your guide points out exactly what it is you are seeing.  That is, until you run into some gangsters attempting to escape from the police.  One of the gangsters takes the guide's place, kidnapping all of you.  Fortunately, a trip through a Mummy's tomb provides a tad too much temptation for that gangster in the way of a cursed jewel.

The highlight of the ride is a trip through Munchkin Land from Wizard of Oz.  The guide interacts with the Wicket Witch of the West as she threatens you.

From there, you are treated to clips of famous movie scenes spanning the ages.  This is the only part of the ride to include any movie made in the last 20 years.

The whole thing takes around 20 minutes to complete.  It's a nice chance to sit down in air conditioning.

However, it isn't nearly as entertaining as it could be.

I am a fan of Disney's "dark rides."  These rides, usually located in Fantasyland, use animatronics to retell a story.  That's what I expected here.  After all, if you are going on a ride "through the movies" as they advertise, I really did expect a little more interaction.  Yes, there is the part with the gangster, but that's pretty much it.  Aside from that, you get to watch the robots move a little and hear a line or two form the movie.  Think a wax museum you are riding through instead of walking through.  Frankly, the animatronics weren't nearly as good as they could have been, too.  They looked less real than many of the other ones in Disney parks.  Again, I'll forgive a lot.  But this wasn't nearly as good as it could have been.

Your guide makes a big difference.  I did go on it twice during my week at Disney World.  The first time, my guide and gangster were definitely into it and it was fairly fun.  The second time, my guide was a wooden actor, and it sapped what little enjoyment there was out of the scenes where acting instead of line recitation was called for.

Despite all the complaints, I don't hate The Great Movie Ride.  I'd definitely go on it again if the line was short enough.  But I can't see spending more than 15 minutes in line for it ever again.

Walt Disney World Review: The Enchanted Tiki Room - Under New Management

Stars: 1 out of 5
Pros: You can sit down in an air conditioned room.

Cons: The attempt to make a classic hip and cool utterly failed.

The Bottom Line:

'Twas new and improved

Which means it was pretty bad

Glad to hear it's gone

Disney Tries to Update a Classic and Lays an Egg Instead

In an effort to revitalize a classic, Disney decided to update The Enchanted Tiki Room.  When it reopened, it added the subtitle Under New Management.  They completely changed the show and included Iago from Aladdin and Zazu from The Lion King.  The reviews from people like me who love the original were immediately bad.  But I just had to go and see for myself.  I should have stayed away.

The Polynesian style theater is located in the Adventureland area of the Magic Kingdom.  The show actually starts while you are waiting in line.  A waterfall opens and we get to hear two birds discussing how they've just sold the show to their clients.  It throws in all kinds of bird puns.  I thought things were off to a good start.

There is one theater, and new shows start about every 15 minutes.  I can't imagine having to wait through more then one show to get a seat as there were plenty of them.  The show really takes place above and around with animatronic birds, tiki gods, flowers, and a fountain.  There isn't a bad seat.

The show starts the same as always with the ever popular "Tiki Room" them song.  But just after the first verse, Iago comes in, announces that he is one of the new owners, and says there will be some changes.  Zazu arrives at this point.  He's the other new owner, and he tries to get Iago to change his tune.  Instead, Iago sings about how it is time for a change (to the tune of "Friend Like Me.")  But the Tiki gods aren't happy with Iago's attitude.  They punish him, and we get several more inane songs before we are finally let go.

Yes, that's right.  I called the new songs inane.  I will freely admit the original songs aren't hip or clever.  But no one expected them to be.  You don't go to an animatronic show at a Disney park to hear hip hop, rock, or rap.  But that's what we get here.  The real problem is the show still isn't hip enough to attract anyone new.  It's cheesier now.

The show also features quite a bit more thunder, lightening, and fire.  One kid in the small group I saw it with had to leave.

The show starts out mocking itself, and if they had kept that going the entire time, with Iago making the old songs more hip, it might have worked.

The ironic thing?  The theater was maybe a quarter full (and I'm being generous here) on the weekday when I saw it.  I've never seen the original, still playing at Disneyland, less than three quarters full.

If you want to get off your feet for 10 minutes and enjoy some air conditioning, this will do it for you.  But that's the only reason to visit The Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management.

2013 Update:

A couple years ago, there was a fire in this attraction.  Iago was one of the things most damaged, so they had to redo this attraction and make it closer to the original.  I haven't seen it, but I am thrilled to hear it is back to the classic version.

Walt Disney World Review: Mickey's PhilharMagic

Stars: 5 out of 5
Pros: A fun trip through classic Disney songs

Cons: They don't have it in Disneyland

The Bottom Line:

Fun 3-D journey

Into many classic songs

Be sure you catch it

3-D Musical Magic Starring Your Disney Friends

Before I made my first pilgrimage to Walt Disney World, I had several friends tell me I had to experience Mickey's PhilharMagic.  So I made it one of my first stops on my first day in the Magic Kingdom.  I went back four more times over the course of the week and would have gone even more had I been there longer.

This show is the newest of the 3-D attractions in Disney World and the only one in the Magic Kingdom.  It is located in Fantasyland.  As you enter the waiting area, you are given your "opera glasses" (the 3-D glasses) but reminded not to put them on until you are in your seat.  Shows are about 15 minutes long, so depending on your timing you might have a short or a long wait.  None of the rides had super long lines when I was there, so I never had to wait longer than one cycle.

The premise of the show is that Mickey is going to conduct an orchestra made up of magical instruments.  He's not quite ready for the show to begin and leaves Donald alone for a second or two.  Donald decides to put on the Sorcerer's Hat and conduct the orchestra himself, but things quickly get out of hand.  When the hat is blown off Donald's head, he begins chasing it through famous Disney songs such as "Be Our Guest," "Part of Your World," "You Can Fly," "Just Can't Wait to be King," Whole New World," and the magic brooms from "Sorcerer's Apprentice."

This is the most recent 3-D attraction and completely done with computer animation.  Yes, even these classic scenes are reanimated, although fans will notice that most of the changes are small and the characters look the same as always.  The animation is stunning.  It looks amazingly real at the same time it looks like a cartoon.

The 3-D effects are wonderfully rendered as well.  Even when things aren't flying out at us (and there is plenty of that), the world looks amazingly deep.  They even use the walls at one point to make the picture even bigger.

As with all the 3-D shows in the park, they don't just show you a movie.  In this one, they lightly spray some water at you during the "Sorcerer's Apprentice" scene (it's really more of a fine mist than anything else) and blow wind on you a couple of times.

For me, this show was tons of fun.  I love all the songs in the show, so I had a smile on my face as I (quietly) sang along.  Donald's interacting with the classic characters was always funny.  And the ending provided one more great laugh.

If I could get one attraction from Walt Disney World moved to Disneyland, it would be Mickey's PhilharMagic.  This is a fun show that kids will absolutely love and any fan of Disney music must see.

Walt Disney World Review: Test Track

Stars: 4 out of 5
Pros: Last half of the ride is a fun rush

Cons: Long wait for very few thrills

The Bottom Line:

Wait is always long

And the ride does have moments

But worth a short wait

EPCOT's Version of a Thrill Ride is Fun if Not Thrilling

As big a Disney fan as I am, I just can't keep up with everything they are doing at all their theme parks.  Heck, I occasionally have a hard enough time keeping up with plans for Disneyland here in Southern California.  As a result, I had heard of Test Track before I got to Disney World, but I really didn't know what it was all about.

The ride is located in the Future World portion of EPCOT pretty close to the boarder with World Showcase.  The line on this ride is deceptively short.  It is all inside, and even though it winds around a little in there, the signs outside were always in the hour range when I was there late September.  (For comparison, most rides had 5 minute waits.)  This ride does have the Fast Pass option, but those disappeared quickly.  It also has a single rider line.  The multiple times I went on it, I always used this option.  I don't think I waited more than 15 minutes, which is about right.

When you reach the front of the line, you are ushered into a video room where the premise of the ride is explained to you.  You are going to be human crash test dummies and see some of the testing that new cars get before they are placed on the market.  The test will consist of several phases.  From this room, you get in yet another line, but this one moves quickly as people are loaded into cars.

The cars seat six people in two rows.  Riders under 40 inches can't ride.  You are provided with seat belts which must be worn (like you'd want to not use a safety devise) and then you are off.

A monitor in your car allows the people testing the cars to talk you through the various tests and let you know what you are experiencing.  You start with a hill test.  It's a pretty steep hill and it feels like you are climbing it faster than you really are.  From there, you experience several rough roads and the inevitable bumps.  You face two difference corners, one with the anti-lock breaks engaged and one without them.  Then you face three environmental chambers.  The heat room makes you very happy to move on to the cold room.  Finally comes the corrosion room.  They spray you with something.  I assume it is water, but it still grossed me out a little.  You probably spend less than 30 seconds in all three of these rooms combined, so it's over quickly.

All of these tests are okay, but they aren't the best.  Frankly, at this point in the ride, I was beginning to get a little bored with the whole thing.

But at this point things pick up.  Next is a traction test.  You go around several sharp corners gaining speed for each one.  There's plenty of whipping around here.  After a sudden stop, you face the final indoor test, the barrier test.

Assuming you survive that test (okay, so I'm having a little fun with you here), you move onto the giant outdoor track.  This track is basically a giant loop around the building that houses the rest of the ride.  As you go around it, you speed increases until you are going 65 miles an hour.

These last two parts are what make the ride so incredibly popular.  While neither will satisfy fans of thrill rides, they are fun in their own right.  And the wind in your face during that outdoor section is lots of fun.

When you exit the ride, you have a chance to buy your souvenir photo.  Since the ride is currently sponsored by GM (rumors that this might not last too much longer because of their financial problems are currently circulating), you get a chance to learn about new GM cars and even buy one on the spot if you are so inclined.  Considering my budget, I didn't spend too long here.

The week I was there, I only noticed Test Track being closed once.  I've heard this is a frequent occurrence due to weather and technical problems, however.

As I said earlier, this ride is best with a short wait.  It is fun, but not worth more than 15 or 20 minutes.  If you can get a fast pass, that is the way to go.  If not, you might want to consider the single rider line.  It does mean you won't get to ride with your friends or family, so take that into consideration.

Those seeking genuine thrills won't find Test Track suits their needs.  Then again, very few Disney rides truly do.  The rest of us will enjoy speeding around the outside portions of the track if the wait is short enough.