TV Show Review: Nickelodeon Presents the Worst of You Can't Do That on Television

Stars: 5 out of 5
Pros: Some of the best skits from a favorite show of the 80's.

Cons: At only 30 minutes, too short.  Video hard to find.

The Bottom Line: 

Many funny skits

But just a teaser for fans

We need more of show!

I wish I could say we'd get more of this show, but I don't know if it will ever happen.  (Dang!  I did it again!)

If This is the Worst of You Can't Do That on Television, I Don't Know if I Want to See the Best

I have stated time and time again that I didn't watch much TV growing up.  Even so, there is one show I managed to get myself completely hooked on, and I would watch episodes every chance I got.  I even managed to track down The Worst of You Can't Do That On Television while in college, and I pull it out every so often for some laughs.

For anyone that grew up in the 80's, this show needs no introduction.  It was the show that put Nickelodeon on the map, in fact.  Originally filmed in Canada as a local show, Nick bought the rights to air it in the US, and it just took off.  Heck, Nick still uses the green slime invented on this show as a network staple.

But for those who aren't familiar with it, the show featured a bunch of skits around a different theme every episode.  They ranged from addiction to health, smoking, drugs, holidays, movies, books, pollution, and war.  Quite a range.  The cast was made up of mostly children.  They revolved through quite regularly since they retired when they got too old.  Each episode featured multiple skits in various locations like school, detention, home, a dungeon, Barth's eatery (which served gross food), and a fire squad.  Holding it all together was the "link" set.  This set was where the actors talked directly to us about the theme of the episode.  It also often provided a theme related plot.

And it was usually the setting for the "stage pollution."  If someone was unfortunate enough to mention wat... wet stuff, it would mysteriously fall on them.  And if they were stupid enough to mention they didn't know something, that triggered the green slime to fall.  As a TV audience, these were our favorite scenes.  I especially loved watching the kids try to trick each other into saying the trigger words or phrases.  I can remember playing around with friends trying to get them to say those words.

Now let's be honest, this isn't a show that parents of any time would approve.  The adults (played by Les Lye and Abby Hagyard) are usually dim witted and out smarted by the kids.  Or they are so overbearing.  Basically, the show puts down authority and plays breaking the rules for laughs.  Plus there is the idea of kids being shot by a South American firing squad.  But as a kid, I loved every minute of it.

This video tape (remember those) was the only home theater release for fans of the show.  It came out in 1989, near the end of the show's run (the last official episodes came out in 1990), and is hosted by Chris Bickford, Jennifer Brackenbury, and Christian Tessier, three of the more popular kids from the later seasons.

This is the video to watch from start to finish.  Nothing is sacred.  Even the FBI warning at the beginning tells you to use the tape correctly and not spread it with peanut butter.  Copying the tape could result in being boiled in oil or being forced to watch it over and over and over again.  And that gives you an idea of the self depreciating humor you are in for.

Heck, the first scene shows Ross (the producer character played by Les Lye) calling us all suckers for buying the video in the first place.  At the end, the kids hosting it refuse to buy it because they figure they can pick it out of the trash next week by people who bought it and then threw it away.  And that's why the title is so funny.  The Worst of You Can't Do That on Television?  You know it will be the best.

The first part of the video gives us a brief history of the show, including a few old skits.  While sets and characters look nothing like we are used to (Ross had stark white hair at one point), they are very funny.  One poor kid gets in trouble for wearing white on TV (both shirt and pants) and then gets a splash course in weather forecasting (he gets buckets of wat...liquid dumped on him until he gets it right).

In a tribute to Les, they show us a montage of all the character's he's played over the years.  I was a bit surprised they didn't do something similar for Abby.  Yes, she's mostly been the mother, but she has played quite a few other parts.  They also show a brief shot of most of the kids who have been on the show.  If you look really closely, you can see a young Alanis Morissette.  She was in 5 or 6 episodes of the 1986 season, even getting slimmed once.  But since this came out before she was famous, we don't get to see her for more than a second and none of it is the slime falling.

Now we are finally getting into the meat of the tape, scenes.  Actually, they start off with some very funny bloopers.  Then we get about 8 scenes from various episodes.  My favorite involves first host Christine "Moose" McGlade arguing with Ross about whether the kids make up what they say on the show or not.  Why is the scene so funny?  Because both characters are reading what they say off cue cards, even as the cards get "mixed up" and they say each other's lines and talk about the cards being mixed up.  We get about the same number of Opposite sketches.  These skits always show the opposite of reality.  For example, in one the parents are insisting their son drive before he is old enough.  In another, the kid is wearing his snow clothes even though the mom is whining about him not needing them.

Finally, we get to the slime and wat...wet scenes.  As I said, I always loved the build up and pay off from the scenes, but here we just get clips of the stuff falling on the various cast members.  Chris, Christian, and Jennifer to have to contend with it during their introduction to the montages.  And the slime segment opens with the full scene involving multi colored slime that was used to open the movie Fatal Attraction.

Honestly, my biggest disappointment with this tape is just how short it is.  At only 30 minutes, there just isn't enough time to let us see all of the best (sorry, I meant worst) skits from the show.  Apparently, an hour long version was almost made and then scrapped.  I really wish it had been released.  On the positive side, they keep the jokes involving bathroom humor to a minimum.  I never did appreciate it when they resorted more and more to that in later seasons.

The Worst of You Can't Do That On Television is pretty much for the fans.  If you are familiar with the show, seeing this very brief tape will bring back all kinds of memories.  If you never saw it, you might find what is here funny, but I just don't know if you would fully appreciate it.  (Wait, I didn't just say "I don't know," did I?  Dang!  I thought I'd make it through this entire review without getting slimed.)