Thursday, May 30, 2013

Ornament Review: ESPN SportsCenter Fan - 2008 Hallmark Ornament

Stars: 1 out of 5
Pros: The springy foam finger is a nice touch
Cons: Ugly, ugly, and ugly.  Did I mention ugly?
The Bottom Line:
These are ugly elves
Sports fan or not, pass right on
By this ornament

Like I Want Shirtless Elves on My Christmas Tree

Earlier this year, I got a great deal on a lot of Hallmark Christmas ornaments.  About half of them were ones I had been considering getting.  A handful of others were ornaments I hadn't paid much attention to but like now.  And there were a few like ESPN SportsCenter Fans.  This ornament is just plain ugly.

The ornament depicts four elves who are ready to watch SportsCenter.  The elves are dressed in green shorts.  The one on the left is holding a parchments with "SportsCenter Next" written on it.  In the best touch of the piece, the third elf has what is supposed to be a foam finger (it's really plastic like the rest of the ornament).  The foam finger is on a spring, so it moves back and forth when you shake the ornament.  The final elf is trying to look tough, but his grimace just doesn't work.  He's also wearing a wig that is half green and half red.

Did I mention that the elves are shirtless?  And across their chests, they've each got one letter of ESPN in the logo font.

In the good news department, the ornament is on a steady base.  You can set it down an a flat surface if you want, and it will be perfectly stable.  There is a brass hook for hanging the ornament smack dap between elves two and three.  The ornament tips forward a bit, so you'd want to put this one near the top of a tree or you'd just be looking at the tops of their heads.

But I don't know why you'd want to put this one on your tree at all.  The elves are ugly.  And we're not talking so ugly they're cute, either.  This one is just plain ugly.  And the guy trying to flex and look tough on the right is actually creepy.  It probably has something to do with the fact that he has one eye open and one eye closed.

I'm not a sports fan, so I thought that might be part of my problem with this one.  I conducted an unscientific experiment and asked my roommates, who are huge sports nuts.  Their reaction was much like mine.  In fact, we had fun for a few minutes just mocking it.

My Hallmark stores have put out previous year ornaments in an attempt to sell them off cheaply.  I'm not surprised to see this 2008 ornament in every store I've been to recently.  I don't see the appeal of SportsCenter Fans in the slightest.

Original Price: $15.00

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