On Socializing and Homeschooling

There are lots of issues connected to homeschooling. Since I was homeschooled during majority of the 80's, I've heard most all of them. Probably the biggest I still hear is "But what about socialization? How will the child know how to interact with other kids?"

Actually, the social aspect was one of the reasons my parents decided to homeschool me in the first place. I was the student that everyone picked on. By the third grade, I often ended the school day in tears.

So let's be honest. All social interaction is not good. Kids can be cruel to one another. Bullies aren't just a thing of the past but still a very real problem today.

Now I can hear you saying "But Mark, isn't running from a problem a bad thing?" It can be, but it depends on the situation. Looking back, I can see that I would have developed some serious behavioral problems is I had stayed in a traditional school setting. My parents homeschooling me from 4th to 10th grades allowed me to develop a more mature response to this kind of behavior.

Schools place kids in groups their own age. Since I graduated from school, very few of my close friends have been my exact age. I've got some five years either way, but some of my best friends are even older and younger then that. School grades create an artificial age separation that doesn't reflect real life.

And we can't forget peer pressure. Drugs, sex, alcohol, and cigarettes seem to be issues for students younger and younger every year. Kids need time to be kids. Let them remain innocent for as long as possible. They'll have their entire lives to be adults. Plus, it's easier to teach them how to avoid the potential hazards of these things when they aren't being faced with it every day.

Then there are group projects. While they are supposed to teach students how to work together constructively, let's be honest. The one student who cares about his or her grade does all the work while everyone else rides their coattails. I can't tell you the number of times I carried a group to an A all by myself. Only in my senior year of college did I find myself an equal contributor to group projects.

So by now you probably think I am down on all socialization. You couldn't be further from the truth. Everyone, no matter their age, needs friends and family to interact with. So, how can you get that while homeschooling? Let me count the ways.

1. Let's not leave out the importance of family. Who says that the only socialization that counts is peers? Siblings, cousins, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. all count as social interaction. After all, our entire lives we need to know how to relate to those older and younger then ourselves. And we need the same basic skills if the person is related to us or not.

2. There's the neighborhood. My brother, homeschooled from K through 12, always had lots of friends in the neighborhood. I did off and on when there were kids my age. Granted, it's an easy approach to socialization, but it is perfectly valid none the less.

3. Just about every community in America has a homeschool support network of some sort. I know when I was homeschooled, we went on field trips with other homeschoolers to a tortilla factory, a marsh, and a dairy to name three that stand out 20+ years later. Once a month, we got together for book club. Every student and mother would share about some book they had read and enjoyed. With the variety of ages, we had reports on Dr. Seuss side by side with Nancy Drew and adult authors. But it was lots of fun and I looked forward to it every month. By the time my brother was in Jr. High, there were enough homeschooled teens in the program that they got together once a month for fun activities such as bowling, pool parties, or mini golf.

4. Many schools are open to homeschool students participating in their organized activities. I know kids who have done everything from sports to choir and band.

5. Don't forget community organizations. Depending on the area, there are local non-school soccer, baseball, basketball, and football leagues to name a few. Then there are the Boy and Girl Scouts and all their various clones. They are a great way for kids to meet their peers.

6. Churches are another great way for kids to make friends. I don't think I or my brother missed a meeting during our teen years. Obviously, this option won't appeal to the non-religious.

7. Good old fashioned play dates. Have some kids over to play, either one on one or in a group.

These ideas are off the top of my head, and I'm sure if you do the research and some brainstorming, you can come up with many more ways on your own.

Just because someone is homeschooled doesn't mean that they have to have no social life. It takes more work on the parent's part, but homeschooled kids can have just as a good a social life as their traditionally schooled peers.